TROPHIES

This week my husband and I have been celebrating our 25 year Wedding Anniversary.  We've now officially spent a quarter of a century together and I am astonished at how quickly the years have flown by!  As we have been nearing this milestone in our lives I’m realizing just how monumental this occasion truly is.  For sadly in our culture, these kind of anniversary celebrations are becoming more and more obsolete.  We certainly do not deserve any accolades for our long relationship, we are simply trophies of God's grace and goodness.


Some may have thought the odds were against us having a successful marriage.  After all, we barely knew each other 3 months when Richard asked me to marry him.  I was a teenage bride and remember being adamant about waiting until I turned 19 to say our vows so I wouldn’t seem so young. 

Besides being over seven years apart in age, my husband and I are both firstborn children who possessed a strong and stubborn will and a slight determination to have our own way.  If those weren’t big enough hurdles, our first few years of marriage were filled with many trials, which have the tendency to stretch us in ways we never dreamed.

 I came down with a severe case of mononucleosis on our honeymoon and slept an average of 21 hours a day for nine long months.  Our basement apartment flooded while we were out of town and completely destroyed many of our meager earthly possessions. Richard and I were involved in an accident and suffered some long lasting injuries when a ton and a half tow truck pummeled into the back our car as we sat at a stop light. During that time, my parents were divorced after 22 years of marriage which was very difficult for me, even as an adult child. We were also extremely heartbroken to lose three babies through miscarriage, all in one year’s time.  Each one of these circumstances that our Enemy intended to tear our marriage apart, we recognized that God meant for our good.  With each trial He was working on our behalf to polish away the dull areas of sin in our hearts in an attempt to someday display us as shining trophies of His grace and goodness.

After enduring all of those trials, I was hoping for a respite from any further tribulation.  But of course, God views the situations in our lives totally different than we do and has greater purposes to accomplish in allowing them. Our Father knows that sometimes the only way for us to truly grasp the depths of His love, mercy and grace is for us to witness it in action during difficult times.  Many times I have heard God whisper to me just as He reassured the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 , “My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in your weakness.”

Over the years we have experienced God’s grace and goodness through a wide variety of unexpected events. Richard lost his job three times and three of our homes were flooded, teaching us that money and material possessions were not the most important thing.  We’ve suffered through the death of close friends and loved ones, have experienced serious health problems and near death situations. We’ve gone through heart wrenching challenges with one of our precious children that nearly broke our hearts in two but with each new circumstance, God was always there beside us extending His love, mercy and grace for every moment.  God’s goal for each of us is the same desire He had for allowing Job's trials.  In Job 23:10 we hear the wisdom of Job's words, "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  All the while God's will for us was to emerge from our fiery trials shining like gold and to become glowing trophies of His grace and goodness.

Some may ask how it's possible today for a marriage to not only survive but also thrive?  We certainly haven't made it 25 years because we are so special and have it all together.  We don't have a long lasting marriage because we are such wonderful people who never have conflict.  We are both messed up sinners that have struggled greatly with stubbornness, impatience, anger, selfishness, and pride over the years. Time after time, as we’ve witnessed the example of our Savior's grace, love, forgiveness and mercy toward us, we have slowly been transformed more and more into the image of Jesus Christ.  Our marriage and family are without a doubt, a huge trophy of God’s unfathomable grace and amazing goodness and nothing more.

-Because of God’s unmerited grace, we are able to possess the most important key to enjoying a successful life.  Because of Jesus Christ’s shed blood sacrifice on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin, we can enjoy abundant, successful lives no matter what circumstances we face. When Jesus is our Savior, we can go through rough waters and still experience His unsurpassing peace that the world can never provide. We can't enjoy a truly successful Christ honoring marriage and family until we receive God’s free gift of eternal life. Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

-Because of God’s unfailing love toward us, we are then able to extend a Christ like love to our spouse. We see in I John 4:7, “…let us love one another, for love comes from God.” I John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” Vs. 18 says, “…Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”  I learned long ago that romantic “feelings” of infatuation and excitement may fade as difficult times come. It's the biblical love of responsible action flowing from an unselfish heart because of our Savior’s love that makes a marriage last.  We can’t always trust feelings and emotions that come and go, but when both spouses truly love each other with the genuine love of Christ, your relationship will survive and thrive.

-Because of God’s continual forgiveness and mercy toward us, we are then able to show mercy and forgiveness when we are offended by others.  We can forbear each other’s faults daily when we humbly come to the realization that we have a few sin problems of our own.  Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” How dare we play the role of God and pick and chose what offenses we want to forgive our spouse for when we offend God daily far more than we could ever be humanly offended.  Each of us must then come to the point where we concentrate more on cleaning out our own filthy hearts instead of concentrating on how our spouse needs to change.  Pray and place your spouse’s heart into the capable hands of the One who can truly bring about lasting transformation. In the meantime our responsibility is to grant forgiveness and mercy because God gives it freely to us.

We are extremely humbled and thankful to be shining trophies of God’s goodness over the past 25 years. He has blessed us far beyond what we could ever have imagined. We're grateful for the five wonderful children and two precious grandchildren He has blessed us with.

 Through the prosperous times and the difficulties, our Father has been molding and shaping us more into the image of Jesus.  We have a long way to go, but we trust that God will continue to lovingly rub off the ugly smudges of pride and selfishness from our hearts little by little. We trust that He will allow whatever circumstances He deems best to produce results until we are sparkling trophies of His grace, love, forgiveness and mercy.

As you look back over the years, can you see how God has extended His unmerited grace, unfailing love and continual mercy and forgiveness to you during the calm as well as in the storms of your life?  May each of us regularly reflect on all of the instances where God’s goodness was revealed in spite of our circumstances.  May we testify of our Father’s goodness and become shining trophies and treasures that will give Him the glory that He alone is worthy to receive.