This year
marked the 27th Valentine’s Day Richard and I have celebrated
together. It’s tradition for my
wonderful husband to spoil our daughters and me with the most amazing homemade
gourmet chocolate. We discovered this
quaint little chocolate factory on a road trip one time and decided it would be
fun to stop and check the place out. To
our excitement, we were allowed to indulge ourselves in a sample feast full of
various splendid types of specialized chocolates but it was hard to narrow down
my favorite.
We learned that
day that there are basically two major types of chocolate, sweet and tender milk
chocolate and a darker, more bitter chocolate.
The correlation between the two types of chocolate
and the condition of
our spiritual heart seemed to jump out at me. I pray as you read my post today that you can
determine what kind of chocolate your heart resembles. Is your heart soft and sweet or hard and
bitter?
I’m not trying
to knock those who enjoy dark bitter chocolate, but spiritually speaking
bitterness is not enjoyable at all. I
know personally how destructive the consequences of unforgiveness can be. For decades I suffered greatly and was
trapped and tormented with the heavy chains of bitterness wrapped tightly around
my neck. 
What exactly
is bitterness and what does God say about it?
Bitterness doesn’t occur only when we choose not to forgive our
offenders, we can become bitter toward God when we refuse to accept what He has
chosen to allow in our lives. As Hebrews
12:15 states, bitterness is “resisting God’s grace” in our lives because
we do not trust in His sovereign purposes in allowing hurts and offenses to
happen. We question if God has our best
interests at heart and refuse to see things from His eternal perspective.
God commands
us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians
4:31,32). If we are controlled by
bitterness, anger and hatred we will not be showing the genuine love, kindness,
compassion and forgiveness of Christ to others.
So how do we rid ourselves of these horrible sins? It’s only made possible because of the
example of Jesus.
I Peter 2:21-23 “For to this you
were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us and example, that
you should follow His steps: Who
committed NO sin… they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when
he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who
judges justly" We must not
retaliate but forgive, fully entrusting our situation to God who is the
judge.(Romans 2:19) He will always work the situation we are going through together
for His glory and our good. We can be assured that God will do a far better job humbling our offender than we ever could.
Although Jesus was sinless and innocent of any crime, he was
scourged, mocked, bruised, spit on and beaten beyond recognition on the road to
Calvary. We will never experience that kind of suffering in our lifetime. Christ chose to hang on the cross to suffer
and die in the place of the very people who hated Him and prayed, “Father, forgive them for
they do not know what they are doing.”Luke 23:34. Christ knew that those people were blinded by their
sin. He died to offer salvation freely
to those who humble themselves and ask forgiveness of their sin. Jesus willingly
endured the pain of Calvary to offer His offenders the free gift of eternal life. No matter what, we must follow Jesus’ example to forgive and love our accusers as He did.
What
are the consequences of allowing bitterness into our hearts?
--1) God
will not forgive us for our sin. Matt. 6:14-15 “…For if you do not forgive others of
their sins, your heavenly Father will not forgive you of your sins.”
--2) God
won't hear our prayers. Ps. 66:18“If I regard
iniquity in my heart, God will not hear me.”
--3) Our
conscience will condemn us with guilt until we confess our sin of bitterness.
(Romans 2:15) “Who show the
work of God’s law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing
witness…their thoughts accusing or excusing them.” God’s law is written in our hearts, guilt comes when we do
not forgive even though we know we should.
-4) Choosing not to forgive will ruin our
relationships with spouses, children, friends, family and most importantly
with God.
--5) We
will be kept from accomplishing God’s plan for us to enjoy an abundant life. (John 10:10) “The thief (Satan) has only
come to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that they may have life and
have it more abundantly.”
Here are some questions to determine if the
root of bitterness has taken hold in your heart: (Unforgiving people don’t usually
regard themselves as bitter at all)
---Am I easily offended or hurt by others?
---Do I have a hard time forgiving people
who offend me or deeply resent them?
---Do I feel sometimes like life is just
not fair and at times question God for allowing circumstances into my life or
in the life of my loved ones?
---Do I believe that I’ll change my
offender’s behavior by not extending forgiveness?
---Do I often replay hurts over and over in
my mind?
---Would I secretly enjoy seeking revenge?
---Do I believe that there’s a limit on how
far I should extend forgiveness?
---Do I merely say “I forgive” from my mind
instead of truly forgiving from my heart?
