TROPHIES

This week my husband and I have been celebrating our 25 year Wedding Anniversary.  We've now officially spent a quarter of a century together and I am astonished at how quickly the years have flown by!  As we have been nearing this milestone in our lives I’m realizing just how monumental this occasion truly is.  For sadly in our culture, these kind of anniversary celebrations are becoming more and more obsolete.  We certainly do not deserve any accolades for our long relationship, we are simply trophies of God's grace and goodness.


Some may have thought the odds were against us having a successful marriage.  After all, we barely knew each other 3 months when Richard asked me to marry him.  I was a teenage bride and remember being adamant about waiting until I turned 19 to say our vows so I wouldn’t seem so young. 

Besides being over seven years apart in age, my husband and I are both firstborn children who possessed a strong and stubborn will and a slight determination to have our own way.  If those weren’t big enough hurdles, our first few years of marriage were filled with many trials, which have the tendency to stretch us in ways we never dreamed.

 I came down with a severe case of mononucleosis on our honeymoon and slept an average of 21 hours a day for nine long months.  Our basement apartment flooded while we were out of town and completely destroyed many of our meager earthly possessions. Richard and I were involved in an accident and suffered some long lasting injuries when a ton and a half tow truck pummeled into the back our car as we sat at a stop light. During that time, my parents were divorced after 22 years of marriage which was very difficult for me, even as an adult child. We were also extremely heartbroken to lose three babies through miscarriage, all in one year’s time.  Each one of these circumstances that our Enemy intended to tear our marriage apart, we recognized that God meant for our good.  With each trial He was working on our behalf to polish away the dull areas of sin in our hearts in an attempt to someday display us as shining trophies of His grace and goodness.

After enduring all of those trials, I was hoping for a respite from any further tribulation.  But of course, God views the situations in our lives totally different than we do and has greater purposes to accomplish in allowing them. Our Father knows that sometimes the only way for us to truly grasp the depths of His love, mercy and grace is for us to witness it in action during difficult times.  Many times I have heard God whisper to me just as He reassured the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 , “My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in your weakness.”

Over the years we have experienced God’s grace and goodness through a wide variety of unexpected events. Richard lost his job three times and three of our homes were flooded, teaching us that money and material possessions were not the most important thing.  We’ve suffered through the death of close friends and loved ones, have experienced serious health problems and near death situations. We’ve gone through heart wrenching challenges with one of our precious children that nearly broke our hearts in two but with each new circumstance, God was always there beside us extending His love, mercy and grace for every moment.  God’s goal for each of us is the same desire He had for allowing Job's trials.  In Job 23:10 we hear the wisdom of Job's words, "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  All the while God's will for us was to emerge from our fiery trials shining like gold and to become glowing trophies of His grace and goodness.

Some may ask how it's possible today for a marriage to not only survive but also thrive?  We certainly haven't made it 25 years because we are so special and have it all together.  We don't have a long lasting marriage because we are such wonderful people who never have conflict.  We are both messed up sinners that have struggled greatly with stubbornness, impatience, anger, selfishness, and pride over the years. Time after time, as we’ve witnessed the example of our Savior's grace, love, forgiveness and mercy toward us, we have slowly been transformed more and more into the image of Jesus Christ.  Our marriage and family are without a doubt, a huge trophy of God’s unfathomable grace and amazing goodness and nothing more.

-Because of God’s unmerited grace, we are able to possess the most important key to enjoying a successful life.  Because of Jesus Christ’s shed blood sacrifice on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin, we can enjoy abundant, successful lives no matter what circumstances we face. When Jesus is our Savior, we can go through rough waters and still experience His unsurpassing peace that the world can never provide. We can't enjoy a truly successful Christ honoring marriage and family until we receive God’s free gift of eternal life. Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

-Because of God’s unfailing love toward us, we are then able to extend a Christ like love to our spouse. We see in I John 4:7, “…let us love one another, for love comes from God.” I John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” Vs. 18 says, “…Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”  I learned long ago that romantic “feelings” of infatuation and excitement may fade as difficult times come. It's the biblical love of responsible action flowing from an unselfish heart because of our Savior’s love that makes a marriage last.  We can’t always trust feelings and emotions that come and go, but when both spouses truly love each other with the genuine love of Christ, your relationship will survive and thrive.

-Because of God’s continual forgiveness and mercy toward us, we are then able to show mercy and forgiveness when we are offended by others.  We can forbear each other’s faults daily when we humbly come to the realization that we have a few sin problems of our own.  Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” How dare we play the role of God and pick and chose what offenses we want to forgive our spouse for when we offend God daily far more than we could ever be humanly offended.  Each of us must then come to the point where we concentrate more on cleaning out our own filthy hearts instead of concentrating on how our spouse needs to change.  Pray and place your spouse’s heart into the capable hands of the One who can truly bring about lasting transformation. In the meantime our responsibility is to grant forgiveness and mercy because God gives it freely to us.

We are extremely humbled and thankful to be shining trophies of God’s goodness over the past 25 years. He has blessed us far beyond what we could ever have imagined. We're grateful for the five wonderful children and two precious grandchildren He has blessed us with.

 Through the prosperous times and the difficulties, our Father has been molding and shaping us more into the image of Jesus.  We have a long way to go, but we trust that God will continue to lovingly rub off the ugly smudges of pride and selfishness from our hearts little by little. We trust that He will allow whatever circumstances He deems best to produce results until we are sparkling trophies of His grace, love, forgiveness and mercy.

As you look back over the years, can you see how God has extended His unmerited grace, unfailing love and continual mercy and forgiveness to you during the calm as well as in the storms of your life?  May each of us regularly reflect on all of the instances where God’s goodness was revealed in spite of our circumstances.  May we testify of our Father’s goodness and become shining trophies and treasures that will give Him the glory that He alone is worthy to receive.

OBSESSED WITH FASHION

If I were to be completely honest about my sinful struggles in the past, I would readily admit that although I used to be a shopaholic, my BIGGEST obsession during that time was my fascination with clothes.  In this category I would also need to include my enthrallment with ALL accessories related to clothing.  The allure of shiny sparkling jewelry, the appeal of large designer purses, and of course we can’t forget all of those cute shoes to perfectly complete all of those outfits.  Looking back now at the infatuation I had with clothes, it almost became like a stimulant for me to get high from shopping.  Even though I always have appreciated a good clearance sale, there was a time when buying clothes at Thrift stores simply would not completely satisfy my needs.  My craving was for the latest and greatest and all of the newest styles and fashion.  It was the infamous mall with all of its sights, smells, lights and wondrous treasures that allured me and even seemed to call out my name when I drove by.  Since I wasn’t at all happy with my inner self at that time, I was driven by the need to feel complete so I tried to fulfill that hunger with my obsession with clothes.

When Richard and I got married, I remember already owning over 20 pair of shoes, upwards of 30 pair of pants, about 40 sweaters in an array of my favorite styles and colors.  My love for clothing started early, way back in grade school when my mom made me a new dress to wear every single day.  The attention I received with each new dress seemed to soothe some sort of craving inside me.  As I’ve gotten reacquainted with some grade school friends through facebook lately, some of them have mentioned how they remember all of the new clothes I wore.  Shopping for clothes at the mall was just what my mom and sisters and I did for fun every week.  It really didn't matter if we NEEDED something or not, shopping for cute outfits was a hobby for us.  As I got ready for college, my most important preparations were to make sure I had enough clothes so that I would not have to wear the same ensemble more than once or twice in a semester.  I would not and could not be seen in the same outfit within a 3 month span of time.  Sad to say that I placed more value and worth in what was in my wardrobe rather than what was going on in my heart.  

Thankfully the story doesn’t end there with my continued obsession with such shallow things.  I am so thankful that several years ago God opened my eyes for my need to humbly confess placing such a high priority on earthly things instead of valuing my relationship with Him.  When my heart changed so drastically, so did my closet.  The walk in closet that I used to have all to myself was once so overstuffed with clothes, jewelry, purses and shoes that I couldn't even shut the door all the way! (wish I had an actual photo, but I was too embarrassed to take one)  After God dealt with me, I went through and discarded many of the items I thought were so necessary to my happiness and have paired down to a more reasonably sized wardrobe as my family will all now attest to. I have also learned the art of putting more inexpensive outfits together by shopping at thrift stores and consignment shops for myself and our whole family.  I'm not too proud to wear used clothes that someone else bought at the mall and decided to get rid of.   I am not at all proclaiming that malls are evil or wrong, in fact my daughters and I are planning a trip with some friends to the Mall of America soon to look for some bargain clothes for them to start college with.  I now realize that buying clothes, shoes, purses or jewelry will never meet my deepest desires.  Buying clothes does not have the power and ability to quench my thirst for something awesome.  I won't ever be able to purchase in a retail store all my soul is longing for.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still obsessed with my wardrobe today, BUT it is a radically different type of clothing altogether. This clothing has great value for eternity, it is priceless beyond measure and it will never ever go out of style.

The kind of clothing God desires for us to be obsessed with is found in Colossians 3: 12-14  “Therefore as God’s chosen people, hold and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.    Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

We are told in this passage to clothe ourselves with:  COMPASSION, KINDNESS, HUMILITY, GENTLENESS, PATIENCE, FORGIVENESS and LOVE which binds all of these virtues together in perfect unity.   God wants us to put on LOVE, which like a thread that sews and binds together all of the other virtues.  I am pretty sure these 7 virtues we are to clothe ourselves with need no additional explanation.  We all know the definition of each one of these words and why God desires for us to put emphasis on wearing this specific virtuous wardrobe.

In Colossians 3:13 we see that Jesus Christ is the ultimate example for us in modeling these essential items of clothing.  We are told that once we have clothed ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love, we will have peace.  Isn’t that what everyone is so desperately searching for in this life? Verse 15 says, “Let the PEACE of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be THANKFUL. 

I know for a fact that during those many years when I was obsessed with clothing, peace certainly did NOT rule my heart.   I was not at all focused on wearing the Biblical clothing that God tells us about in this passage in Colossians 3.  We must not forget to take heed to obeying the very end of verse 15 that reminds us to be THANKFUL.

I must confess that when I was obsessed with a more worldly wardrobe, I certainly was not a thankful person.  My cravings for the mall and shopping for clothes left me only wanting more and more.   The thrill and excitement was short lived and never seemed to satisfy.  While buying all those cute clothes, I thought I was buying peace and happiness.  Then I discovered that after a few days or weeks, the fulfillment was gone because clothes and material possessions will never have the ability to quench the longings that can only be met by a pure relationship with God Himself.  Popular styles, fabrics, patterns and colors are ever changing with each new season in the fashion world but the Biblical clothing God desires for us to model in our lives will NEVER cease to be in fashion.  Dressing ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love and thankfulness is the only clothing that can ever fulfill us and allow the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts.

 I also realized that my entire goal in being obsessed with the wrong clothing was to draw attention only to myself and how great I was at putting outfits together; but when we chose to put on the Biblical clothing that Christ models for us, we are then able to shine the spotlight on and honor Jesus Christ.  It is our pride that traps us into craving the approval and compliments from others, when our heart should be in such a humble state that our ONLY desire above ALL else is pointing the glory to our Creator God.  

How about you?  Have you been obsessed with clothing yourself with the wrong wardrobe?  I pray that those of you who read this post will truly search the inner most areas of your heart and weed out anything from your spiritual wardrobe that does not belong there.  Take it from someone who knows how God’s forgiveness can replace the emptiness that once filled your heart with unsurpassing peace and joy that I guarantee you will never be able to find at the mall.