Hoarders of a Different Kind

 In 24 years of marriage my husband and I have moved our family with all of our earthly possessions to 13 different locations. Although I actually do enjoy many parts of moving, the one facet I extremely dislike is the whole packing process. While packing things up, it is very difficult to keep the house clean and once the boxes are full and taped up, where in the world do you put them all to maintain any sense of order? It seems as if boxes and totes end up lining almost every wall in the house before moving day making it very difficult to even find a path to walk through. We usually need to begin packing several weeks ahead of time, which leaves us living in a very crowded and cluttered space for WAY too long!

Anyone who knows me well can vouch for the fact that I do NOT do well in a cluttered environment. I begin to have some peculiar symptoms when everything is messy and out of place. I have difficulty breathing, become completely drained of all my energy and feel extremely stressed out. Many times while packing to move, I just wanted to roll up in a ball and laugh and cry all at the same time. Trust me, the adverse effects clutter has on me is definitely not a pretty sight!   

A few months ago while packing up our farm to move, I strongly felt the need to overemphasize to any visitors stopping by that we were really NOT like the ‘hoarders’ you see on t.v. and we were not ready to sign on for our own episode on the cable network.  Feeling overwhelmed as I stared at the boxes stacked nearly from floor to ceiling everywhere, I was often tempted to reveal my “TRUE” status regarding ALL of our clutter on facebook.  Thankfully I had enough sense at the time to stop myself!  I told my husband that if I was ever kidnapped by terrorists, the best form of torture they could inflict on me is to hold me hostage in a messy cluttered house for awhile.  Eventually I would go crazy in that environment and most assuredly tell them anything they’d want to know.  By now you’ve gotten the drift that I have a strong aversion to having clutter in my home, but boy did I ever used to enjoy collecting massive amounts of clutter in my heart!  For years I was definitely a hoarder of a different kind, a hoarder of hurts.  

From the time I was very young I collected and packed away all of the rude things anyone ever said or did to me.  I not only carefully boxed up those offenses like you would a fragile Mikasa vase or family heirloom, I taped them completely shut and piled them around every available corner of my heart.  I never overlooked, never forgave and never cleaned out any of that nasty clutter.  Wow, was I ever miserable inside!  I know from experience that collecting that kind of clutter is extremely bad for you, not to mention the damaging effects it has on everyone else around you.  Bitterness is like a virus that has the potential to unknowingly infect the people you come in contact with.  We are warned in Hebrews 12:15 about how our bitterness can easily spread to others, “Looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any ‘root of bitterness’ springing up causes trouble, and by this many become defiled.”  My hoarding of hurts not only caused A LOT of trouble in my life, it almost destroyed my relationship with my husband, other family members and most importantly with my God.  The deception from Satan sounds perfectly rational to us because we believe the lie that we can punish our offenders by holding them captive by our unforgiveness.  In reality, WE are the ones that end up being locked up and held prisoner to our own bitterness and suffer the horrible consequences! 

If we continue hurt hoarding for any length of time, our thoughts, attitudes and actions are poisoned with the stench of our pride and selfishness.  No one enjoys being around us for very long because a bitter person is neither pretty nor pleasant.  That nasty bitterness will also begin to permeate our speech and how we talk to others.  It’s extremely sad, but the damaging effects of words spoken to others from a bitter heart can never be completely erased.  Those destructive words we choose to speak pierce the hearts our spouses, family and friends like poisonous arrows.  In Proverbs we see how powerful our tongues can be.  Proverbs 18:21 shows this significance, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”  In fact, there is absolutely NO area in our lives that our bitterness will NOT leave untouched and eventually destroy.  We are witnessing that widespread destruction in Christian marriages today in part because one or both spouses have unresolved conflicts from hoarding hurts, which leads to bitterness.  We will ultimately experience the outward tragic effects from willfully CHOOSING not to forgive offenses.  This is one of the biggest and most effective tools that our enemy Satan uses to destroy us as women!  

If the medical community knew an outbreak of a highly contagious poisonous disease was primarily targeting women and destroying their health, EVERY media outlet available would be warning the public of its dangers.  We’d all want to learn about the precautionary measures we’d need to follow to avoid this terrible illness no matter what the cost.  If we had already contracted this deadly virus, we'd surely be desperate to find out the cure for it.  That’s the sole reason why I’m writing this blog post about hoarding hurts!  I’ve seen in my own life, the destruction that the virus of bitterness will bring.  I’m passionate about warning women of the disastrous consequences of refusing to forgive others.  

The Great physician, Jesus, has lovingly given us the precautionary measures we need to follow to avoid the virus of bitterness from infiltrating our lives.  Bitterness is actually not only an epidemic mainly affecting women, we need to be aware that it’s spreading at pandemic proportions because Satan uses it to attack ALL people whether male or female.  The only remedy and hope Christ provides as a cure for this pandemic outbreak affecting all of humanity is called ‘FORGIVENESS’ which He so graciously modeled through His sacrifice on the cross.  It’s simply our choice whether to follow Christ’s own example and be blessed or completely ignore what He teaches in His Word and eventually endure the devastating consequences.  Keeping all of those fragile boxes full of our hurts, taping them shut and piling them up until we are completely blinded is exactly what Satan has planned for us.

If we know that Satan wants our destruction, then why do we choose to make ourselves suffer miserably by following the path of unforgiveness rather than living the life of freedom, joy and peace that God has provided?  The answer to this question lies in the fact that we are prideful and we do not FULLY comprehend the amazing and awesome significance of Jesus shedding His own precious blood on the cross so that WE can have forgiveness for OUR filthy sins.  Isn’t it ironically heartrending how WE expect others to forgive US for our faults BUT we CHOOSE to collect and hoard the offenses that others commit against us?

God deeply loves us and shows us in His written Word how to live a life full of His blessings.  This is why He reminds us over and over in Scripture to be tenderhearted and forgive others.  Ephesians 4:32 tells us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as even Christ for God’s sake has forgiven you.”  God also tells us that we shouldn’t plan on Him forgiving our sins if we choose not to forgive others.  Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you do forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  BUT if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  This concept shows us that the forgiveness we extend to others is completely and directly correlated to whether or not our sins are forgiven by our Creator. 

I’ve learned that whether its clutter we’re collecting from material possessions in our homes or in our spiritual lives by hoarding hurts, it only brings chaos and confusion never peace.  Are you living the amazing joy filled life that Jesus died to give you or do you have cluttered areas where you’re selfishly hoarding hurtful offenses from others?  It’s a life altering choice each of us must make every minute of every hour of every day. I now willfully choose to live the clutter free life, absolutely no more hoarding!  How about you?