FORGIVENESS IS NOT ENOUGH...

Have you ever had to deal with a difficult person sometime in your life?  Maybe you have gone to school or worked with someone who seems to give you a hard time every step of the way.  Maybe you have encountered this challenging person at your church or in your neighborhood.  There is even a possibility that you may have a family member that is not pleasant or seems to cause conflict whenever a situation does not go their way.  These people tend to thrive on inflicting distress on others and seem unbothered with the fact that people don’t really enjoy their presence.  Wherever there is drama, turmoil or upheaval, you can be sure that there one of these individuals is involved. 

No matter where you work, no matter what school or church you attend or what neighborhood you live in, you will eventually come across one of these challenging people. Most of us have learned by this point in our lives that these difficult individuals are absolutely unavoidable. No matter how hard we wish those people would simply disappear from our lives, we must come to the conclusion that they are NOT ever going away. If the answer to all of our problems does not lie in being able eradicate these people completely from our lives then what is our solution? 

I was utterly shocked the day I figured out that the solution to dealing with these controlling, conflict causing people actually lies within me!!!  Sounds crazy doesn’t it?  Even though I’m not responsible for their rude actions toward me, I will answer to God for HOW I react to them. My job is to forgive those who offend me, BUT is granting them forgiveness really enough?   

If you would have come to me several years ago for advice about how to deal with difficult people, I would have given you all the wrong answers.  Sadly, I would have encouraged you to steer clear of those bullies and mark them off your list for good.  I would have persuaded you to only talk with nice people who would never dream of hurting your feelings.  The problem with my heart at that time is that when someone offended me, I never forgave them for anything ever.  I was always marking people off my list and avoided people who were rude.  I was bitter and did not have the attitude of Christ and His love for the people who really needed love the most.

Over and over I see Christian friends posting long rants on facebook and other forms of media about how they've been wronged or mistreated by a bully at their work, school, in their church or neighborhood.  It saddens me because these friends who've been hurt and are venting their angry feelings with hundreds of people, do NOT truly have the proper Biblical perspective of the stressful and frustrating situation they’ve endured.  For most of my life, I too did not have the proper response and outlook the times when people had offended me then I finally realized that it was God who sovereignly sent that person into my life so that I could learn from them.

What in the world could we possibly learn from dealing with prideful selfish people who cause us trouble?  Why would God allow us to go through such emotional hurt, turmoil and pain at the hands of a selfish bully?  Our God does have great compassion for us and feels our deepest pain. He loves His children more than we can ever fathom, but we must trust Him with every detail of our lives and know that He is our Father who is working out situation we face for our good and His glory.

 Our Father desires most of all that His dear children become more fashioned into the image of His precious Son.  He wants us learn how to love the unlovable like Jesus did when He chose to love us and how to respond to those who mistreat us like Jesus does every time we mistreat Him.  There’s always a bigger picture in every situation we face, and most of the time it’s only God who has the crystal clear view, not us.

I have learned so much about forgiving others in the past several years because I finally came to the point of humility when I realized the DEPTHS of Jesus Christ’s forgiveness for ALL of my nasty sin!  How could I not forgive others who hurt or mistreat me when Jesus forgives me of FAR MORE every single day of my life!   But when I began to realize that my responsibility was not over once I had simply forgiven.   I remember asking God this very question, “Okay God, I have forgiven all of these difficult people, now isn’t that enough?  What more could you possibly want from me?”   

Many of us think that if we forgive those difficult people who have caused us so much trouble, then we’re off the hook and have gone above and beyond what MOST people ever do.  The problem is that forgiveness is NOT enough!  God asks us to go beyond forgiveness.  After forgiving our offender, most of us RARELY proceed to the next step of obedience.  Jesus calls us to go the extra mile and bless and pray for our offenders once we have forgiven them.  Jesus says in Matthew 5:44, “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”  When we ask God to bless our offenders with qualities they are missing, we can be freed from the emotional pain that was caused by their hurts and have the privilege of watching how God will work in the situation.

God desires that we pray for those unlovable people because He knows that when we are praying for people, we will develop a genuine love for them. Those people desperately NEED to be shown love and who better to demonstrate the undeserving love of Christ than the one whom they have hurt.  Jesus tells us in John 13:34, “Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”    When our offender hurt us, they were showing that they needed help.  If we desire to see God accomplishing impossible and amazing things through us, we must adapt the attitude of Christ and look for ways to minister to our offender.

We are to forgive, pray, bless and genuinely love the bullies who at times make our lives more difficult.  God will then show us how we can minister to them.  I am telling you from personal experience that this WILL work!  God can use us to help the very person who hurt us.  You may view this difficult individual as someone you want to eliminate completely from your life, but God put them there for you to minister to and through this process, you are becoming more like Christ.

Have you ever hurt or offended someone and they have forgiven you, loved you and prayed for you? This kind of undeserving love has the power to transform any hard hearted difficult person. If the one who has hurt you is not a Christian, how much MORE important would it be to follow Christ’s example to forgive, love, pray for and minister to these people instead of complaining about them publicly.  We must change our perspective to God’s perspective.

Because of the shed blood of Christ, we can forgive our offenders.  Because of the shed blood of Christ we can pray for our offenders.  Because of the shed blood of Christ, we can bless our offenders.  Because of the shed blood of Christ we can genuinely love our offenders.  We are enabled to do all of these seemingly impossible things for others just as Christ forgives us, prays for us, blesses us and loves us with an unconditional everlasting love that we definitely do not deserve.

THE GREEN EYED MONSTER...

How well are you acquainted with the infamous green eyed monster? Maybe you have heard of this horrible tyrant but do not intimately know him.  Being a woman, I have certainly noticed how the green eyed monster has destroyed and caused utter ruin in the lives of those who develop a friendship with him and it’s the female gender that this tormentor primarily preys on.  How is it that we would ever allow something so terrible as the green eyed monster to sink his nasty claws in us?   What are some of the telltale signs that show us that we’ve allowed the serious sin of envy to creep in and poison our hearts?  Why is it extremely important that we purpose to slay this monster and eliminate him from our lives as soon as possible?

I believe the root cause of our struggle with the sin of envy lies in the fact that many of us are not content with who God created us to be.  We also choose not to be thankful for our appearance, the natural abilities we have and the gifts that God has blessed us with. We are too often discontented with our inherited physical features that are really what make us unique and special.   Many of us believe the lie that God has made mistakes in not giving us some of the physical and spiritual blessings that we feel we deserve.  We may truly believe that we've somehow been cheated  out of something good by our Creator.  The problem lies in the fact that we do not trust that our God knows what is best for us and will always equip us to accomplish exactly what He has called us to do here on earth.  

Maybe you are like I was and you're not even aware of the fact that you may be wrestling with the sin of envy.  Here are some definite questions that you can honestly ask yourself to find out if you're battling with the green eyed monster: 
1)  Do you ever secretly “wish” your life were different?

2)  Have you ever wished your husband was like....
3)  Do you wish that your children were like…. 
4)  Do you wish that your family was more like…
5)  Have you ever dreamed for your house to be like…
6)  Do you wish that your body was like…. 
7)  Do you hope to someday have possessions like….
8)  Do you wish you had talents like….  

When we have discontented and unthankful hearts, we are automatically inviting that horrible green eyed tormentor into our lives and it turns us into very miserable people.  If we choose to constantly compare ourselves with others looks, talents, abilities and possessions, it leaves no room for us to enjoy the blessings that God has so graciously given to us.  The worst part about battling with the sin of envy is that when it's left to fester, it causes rotting in our hearts.  Envy won't be satisfied with destroying our lives alone, it will continue to cause destruction in every relationship we have.  It is a disease of the heart and doesn’t only attack adult women, sadly this intense struggle often begins to cause problems for many girls at a very early age.

I don’t remember exactly when this dreadful ogre and I were introduced but I do admit that we became very close friends while I was growing up.  As I think back on my childhood, my earliest memories of struggling with envy began around the age of 5 years old when I entered into grade school.  I compared myself to other girl’s looks, talents, abilities, how many friends they had and what clothes they wore to school.  Pretty pathetic to think that someone so young could be trapped in such a horrible thought process, but it’s a common problem we as parents must realize needs to be addressed in our children as well as ourselves.  I often imagined my life as someone else and focused on how all of my friends had more baby dolls or Barbie’s than I did.  I remember being so jealous that my friend had a Barbie dream house with the 3 floors and the elevator which I never did.  This strong desire to have what other girls had way back in kindergarten just proves that Satan will use whatever measure he can as early as he can to begin the process of destruction he has planned for our lives.    

Sad to say, I have allowed that nasty green eyed monster to cause me so much emotional pain for most of my life and the battle only intensified as I entered into adulthood.  I envied other women who were talented, beautiful, had no budget to follow, had husbands who would do whatever they wanted them to, whose kids seemed perfect, who could eat whatever they wanted and still be thin.  Sounds like pretty shallow thinking now doesn’t it!  It’s a sad way to live your life constantly comparing yourself to others and what they have that you believe you don’t.  For years I wished my husband were more like…  I wished my children were more like….  I wished I were more like….   I wished my house were like… and on and on!  My sin of envy was causing me to put myself in constant competition with those around me that I thought had life better than I did.  I had an insatiable craving for approval, praise and recognition for things I accomplished.  When others were praised or recognized for things they did, it greatly pained me inside because I was extremely jealous that they received honor and I did not.  How sad!!!  Instead of being thankful and genuinely happy for someone else’s accomplishments, I was slowly being poisoned by my selfishness and jealousy which is exactly what my Enemy had planned.  Instead of me focusing on giving praise to other people, I was more focused on myself and the attention I thought I deserved from others.

Why is the sin of envy so dangerous and destructive and why is it so important to get rid of this green eyed monster as soon as possible?  Envy is quite possibly the most vicious of all of the sins we may battle with.  King Solomon shows us this in Proverbs 27:4, “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” 

Many of us would think that the most destructive sins would be anger and wrath, but the Bible here refers to envy as being even worse.  It has been proven medically in cases where envy even begins to deteriorate our bones.  The Bible warns us in Proverbs 14:30,  "A sound heart is life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones."  If you’ve ever heard my testimony, you know that I am a living example that unresolved stresses in a person’s soul can most definitely cause many health problems in a person’s physical body.  Because God created our body, soul and spirit to all be connected, what we struggle within our soul can also eventually affect some area of our body.

 I praise the God of the universe for allowing the blinders to my sin of envy to come off and causing me to ‘see’ that I needed to slay that horrible green eyed monster!  That green eyed bully and I do not wrestle much anymore for I no longer allow him to be my close companion.  I got rid of the rotten envy when I finally humbled myself on my knees before God and admitted that I was a very envious person.  I acknowledged my sin of envy before my God who already knew it was there and begged His forgiveness which gave me a pure heart.  Once I confessed, my heart was finally clean and purified of the poison.  Now whenever that nasty green eyed bully tries to mess with me, I tell him that I’m thankful for my life and that I’m genuinely happy for others who have what I don't have.  If we are truly loving others with the unconditional love of Christ, then there will be no room in our hearts for jealousy.  I am now humbled and extremely content with ALL of the wonderful blessings that God has graciously bestowed on me that I certainly do not deserve.  I have also realized that it’s not a person’s talent, money, possessions or looks that make them special, it is the fruit of the Spirit that is evident in someone’s life that makes them admirable.  Galatians 5:22 tells us what those most desirable characteristics are.  “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” These are the qualities that our God, as well as most people truly value in a person, not the outward and material characteristics.

Do you constantly compare yourself with others talents, appearance, treasures and abilities?  Are you plagued by thoughts of inadequacy that torture you day and night?  If so, then you yourself may be battling with that nasty green eyed monster. I believe this cute little name ‘the green eyed monster’ is quite deceiving and does a good job of masking the seriousness and destructiveness of the sin of envy.  As soon as we recognize that Satan is trying to cause us misery by tempting us to be envious of someone else, we must immediately thank God for all of the blessings He’s given us and confess our sin of wanting what someone else has. We must be on guard to our Enemy's schemes to bring about our destruction. Slaying the green eyed monster through confession of our sin of envy is the key to finding the peace, joy and contentment that we’re all searching for.  May today be the day we finally get rid of that nasty bully once and for all!    

     

Undercover

A few weeks ago while traveling, my husband and I actually witnessed a covert sting operation going down right before our very eyes!  We don’t usually get exposed to this sort of excitement in the small quiet town where we live so it seemed to make quite an impression on us. We had stopped to grab a quick dinner just inside a major metropolitan area and upon leaving the restaurant after our meal, we noticed quite a commotion stirring up directly in front of us. We were real life eyewitnesses to undercover detectives taking down drug dealers in broad daylight!

Of course there were a swarm of plain clothed officers gathered around the criminals, along with weapons, handcuffs and plenty of suspense involved in this precarious situation.  Once this maneuver was completed and the drug dealers were contained and taken into custody, the undercover police officers jumped into their unmarked sport utility vehicle parked right next to us and then quickly sped away.  I was amazed at the outward appearance of these undercover cops because they blended in so well with all of the criminals they had caught.  No one would ever have guessed that they were policemen by the way they looked.

 After all of the excitement and flurry had passed, my mind began to pour over all of the possibilities of how dangerous this situation could have turned out to be.  As I thought of the special skills and abilities the police officers had to possess to be able fit in so well with the criminals they surrounded, I was also reminded of the fact that we don’t even have to work in law enforcement in order to go ‘undercover’.  Sadly, there are many of us who involve ourselves in special covert operations on a daily basis and some of us even choose to live our entire existence undercover.

 Our churches are full of them.  Our youth groups are full of them.  Our Christian families are full of them too.  Undercover Christians are everywhere!  No matter who we are, no matter where we live, people are disguising themselves with the ultimate goal of just "fitting in”. Who exactly are these people that are trying so hard to be undercover Christians anyway and why are they so determined to simply blend in with the crowd?

These people are plain clothed “Christ followers” who have no desire whatsoever to stand out for any reason at all.  They have adapted the world’s “herd” mentality and have no plan to ever stray from the influence of the majority group.   We may believe that the tendency for Christians to go undercover diminishes when we enter into adulthood, but I have found that this couldn’t be further from the truth.  There are many Christian adults who continue on with the same old goal of lying low under the radar, going with the flow and living status quo.  Their whole goal in life is to go unnoticed and never care to stand up or stand out for Christ and what He teaches in His Word.  If many adults are choosing to live in this kind of apathetic spiritual existence, why in the world would they be concerned about their children behaving the very same way?  They follow the wide easy road that doesn’t require any effort, rather than standing firm and going against the lukewarm philosophies that have seeped into many Christian’s heart belief systems.
Whatever happened to standing up for what’s right, being bold for Christ and making a difference for His kingdom for eternity?  Year after year passes and we all too often remain unmoved, unchanged, and unmotivated in our spiritual lives.  Many times we’re so consumed with the newest technological gadget, the latest avenue of social media, or the greatest products on the market to make our lives more luxurious.  We are more enamored and distracted with the world and all of its glitter than we are concerned about making a mark for Christ in this world.  We waste precious time living in apathy, unconcerned about much more than the latest movie, television show or music that the world puts out there for our entertainment.  We continue to focus on the temporal rather than the eternal. Where will all of these covert Christian operations lead our marriages, families, churches and society?  I am certain that our spiritual  apathy will never ever allow us to lead anyone to Christ.  Christians cannot show the lost and dying world that we’ve got the solution to their problems through the cross of Jesus if they cannot even see any trace of visible difference in our lives in comparison to how they live.    

How will anyone ever see a difference if we all look the same?

·         Our entertainment is no different.

·         The way we dress is no different.

·         The way we treat others is no different.

·         The way we react when we are offended is no different.

·         How we respond to trials in our life is no different.

·         How we spend our time is no different.

·         What we spend our money on is no different.

·         Our marriages and families are no different.

·         Our parenting is no different.

 We’re so intent on looking just like the world that we’ve lost our effectiveness!  But do we even care anymore?  As a child, one of my favorite songs was “This Little Light of Mine”. The second verse of this song references how we shouldn’t hide our light under a bushel but let it shine brightly.  Too many of us have lights that we’re trying so hard to hide in hopes of “blending in” that no one will ever be able to see the Savior.  Jesus Himself told believers in Matthew 5:14-16, “You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do they ‘light a lamp’ and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your lights so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” 

Back in Bible times people used oil lamps to light up the whole house so that everyone could see when the sun went down.  It was absurd to think of someone lighting up a lantern simply to take it and hide it under a basket or bushel and remain in the dark.  Instead, Jesus is saying that they would want to put it on a lamp stand so that everyone would be able to clearly see from the bright flame.  When Jesus tells us to “Let our lights so shine before men”, He is not merely making a helpful suggestion for His children.  This is a serious command for us to follow with intent so that the lost will see the light of the Savior.

 Our attraction to the world and desire to “fit in” has caused our lights to become so dimmed or completely go out all together. If we find ourselves in this undercover, unconcerned state of heart and mind then we must realize that there is most definitely an area of sin that needs to be confessed somewhere deep within us.  When our torch for Christ is dim and we only desire mediocrity, we must search ourselves and ask God to reveal whatever sin resides there and quickly confess it.

There comes a time in life when we’ve tried the things the world has to offer and we finally realize that it’s all a lie and none of it brings any peace or contentment.  Unbelievers are searching for answers and they will not find those solutions when we’re undercover, hiding our lights that have been dimmed by sin. We should be ready to share how Christ is the ONLY way to find the peace and joy they are desperately searching for.

I’m not at all implying that we should be a fake plastic examples like I used to be!  I’m being RADICAL and suggesting that each of us actually humbles ourselves in order to clean out all of the ugly sin we’ve been harboring.  Having a pure heart is what will allow us to live the authentic, abundant, shining lights that will draw others to salvation.  In Philippians 2:15 we are told to, “…become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”

As you humbly examine your own heart in this area, have you been posing as an undercover Christian who wants to blend in with the crowd?  Has your apathy caused your light to shine dim or go out all together?  Have you adapted the “go with the flow” philosophy that runs so rampant in our Christian families, churches and schools today?  As our time on this earth draws closer to an end, we must purpose to follow God completely and passionately by drawing people to Him through our brightly shining lights.  No more covert operations!