Hoarders of a Different Kind

 In 24 years of marriage my husband and I have moved our family with all of our earthly possessions to 13 different locations. Although I actually do enjoy many parts of moving, the one facet I extremely dislike is the whole packing process. While packing things up, it is very difficult to keep the house clean and once the boxes are full and taped up, where in the world do you put them all to maintain any sense of order? It seems as if boxes and totes end up lining almost every wall in the house before moving day making it very difficult to even find a path to walk through. We usually need to begin packing several weeks ahead of time, which leaves us living in a very crowded and cluttered space for WAY too long!

Anyone who knows me well can vouch for the fact that I do NOT do well in a cluttered environment. I begin to have some peculiar symptoms when everything is messy and out of place. I have difficulty breathing, become completely drained of all my energy and feel extremely stressed out. Many times while packing to move, I just wanted to roll up in a ball and laugh and cry all at the same time. Trust me, the adverse effects clutter has on me is definitely not a pretty sight!   

A few months ago while packing up our farm to move, I strongly felt the need to overemphasize to any visitors stopping by that we were really NOT like the ‘hoarders’ you see on t.v. and we were not ready to sign on for our own episode on the cable network.  Feeling overwhelmed as I stared at the boxes stacked nearly from floor to ceiling everywhere, I was often tempted to reveal my “TRUE” status regarding ALL of our clutter on facebook.  Thankfully I had enough sense at the time to stop myself!  I told my husband that if I was ever kidnapped by terrorists, the best form of torture they could inflict on me is to hold me hostage in a messy cluttered house for awhile.  Eventually I would go crazy in that environment and most assuredly tell them anything they’d want to know.  By now you’ve gotten the drift that I have a strong aversion to having clutter in my home, but boy did I ever used to enjoy collecting massive amounts of clutter in my heart!  For years I was definitely a hoarder of a different kind, a hoarder of hurts.  

From the time I was very young I collected and packed away all of the rude things anyone ever said or did to me.  I not only carefully boxed up those offenses like you would a fragile Mikasa vase or family heirloom, I taped them completely shut and piled them around every available corner of my heart.  I never overlooked, never forgave and never cleaned out any of that nasty clutter.  Wow, was I ever miserable inside!  I know from experience that collecting that kind of clutter is extremely bad for you, not to mention the damaging effects it has on everyone else around you.  Bitterness is like a virus that has the potential to unknowingly infect the people you come in contact with.  We are warned in Hebrews 12:15 about how our bitterness can easily spread to others, “Looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any ‘root of bitterness’ springing up causes trouble, and by this many become defiled.”  My hoarding of hurts not only caused A LOT of trouble in my life, it almost destroyed my relationship with my husband, other family members and most importantly with my God.  The deception from Satan sounds perfectly rational to us because we believe the lie that we can punish our offenders by holding them captive by our unforgiveness.  In reality, WE are the ones that end up being locked up and held prisoner to our own bitterness and suffer the horrible consequences! 

If we continue hurt hoarding for any length of time, our thoughts, attitudes and actions are poisoned with the stench of our pride and selfishness.  No one enjoys being around us for very long because a bitter person is neither pretty nor pleasant.  That nasty bitterness will also begin to permeate our speech and how we talk to others.  It’s extremely sad, but the damaging effects of words spoken to others from a bitter heart can never be completely erased.  Those destructive words we choose to speak pierce the hearts our spouses, family and friends like poisonous arrows.  In Proverbs we see how powerful our tongues can be.  Proverbs 18:21 shows this significance, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”  In fact, there is absolutely NO area in our lives that our bitterness will NOT leave untouched and eventually destroy.  We are witnessing that widespread destruction in Christian marriages today in part because one or both spouses have unresolved conflicts from hoarding hurts, which leads to bitterness.  We will ultimately experience the outward tragic effects from willfully CHOOSING not to forgive offenses.  This is one of the biggest and most effective tools that our enemy Satan uses to destroy us as women!  

If the medical community knew an outbreak of a highly contagious poisonous disease was primarily targeting women and destroying their health, EVERY media outlet available would be warning the public of its dangers.  We’d all want to learn about the precautionary measures we’d need to follow to avoid this terrible illness no matter what the cost.  If we had already contracted this deadly virus, we'd surely be desperate to find out the cure for it.  That’s the sole reason why I’m writing this blog post about hoarding hurts!  I’ve seen in my own life, the destruction that the virus of bitterness will bring.  I’m passionate about warning women of the disastrous consequences of refusing to forgive others.  

The Great physician, Jesus, has lovingly given us the precautionary measures we need to follow to avoid the virus of bitterness from infiltrating our lives.  Bitterness is actually not only an epidemic mainly affecting women, we need to be aware that it’s spreading at pandemic proportions because Satan uses it to attack ALL people whether male or female.  The only remedy and hope Christ provides as a cure for this pandemic outbreak affecting all of humanity is called ‘FORGIVENESS’ which He so graciously modeled through His sacrifice on the cross.  It’s simply our choice whether to follow Christ’s own example and be blessed or completely ignore what He teaches in His Word and eventually endure the devastating consequences.  Keeping all of those fragile boxes full of our hurts, taping them shut and piling them up until we are completely blinded is exactly what Satan has planned for us.

If we know that Satan wants our destruction, then why do we choose to make ourselves suffer miserably by following the path of unforgiveness rather than living the life of freedom, joy and peace that God has provided?  The answer to this question lies in the fact that we are prideful and we do not FULLY comprehend the amazing and awesome significance of Jesus shedding His own precious blood on the cross so that WE can have forgiveness for OUR filthy sins.  Isn’t it ironically heartrending how WE expect others to forgive US for our faults BUT we CHOOSE to collect and hoard the offenses that others commit against us?

God deeply loves us and shows us in His written Word how to live a life full of His blessings.  This is why He reminds us over and over in Scripture to be tenderhearted and forgive others.  Ephesians 4:32 tells us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as even Christ for God’s sake has forgiven you.”  God also tells us that we shouldn’t plan on Him forgiving our sins if we choose not to forgive others.  Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you do forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  BUT if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  This concept shows us that the forgiveness we extend to others is completely and directly correlated to whether or not our sins are forgiven by our Creator. 

I’ve learned that whether its clutter we’re collecting from material possessions in our homes or in our spiritual lives by hoarding hurts, it only brings chaos and confusion never peace.  Are you living the amazing joy filled life that Jesus died to give you or do you have cluttered areas where you’re selfishly hoarding hurtful offenses from others?  It’s a life altering choice each of us must make every minute of every hour of every day. I now willfully choose to live the clutter free life, absolutely no more hoarding!  How about you?

Helpless, Hopeless, & Slightly Hazardous

 

What do gas stations, diesel trucks and me all have in common?   This unlikely trio is the perfect environment for continual lessons of review in humility, patience, flexibility and learning total dependence on God.  Because of our pride at times in thinking we can rely on ourselves, God allows us to go through situations to remind us of where our source of strength really comes from.  In an attempt to lead us to total trust and reliance on Him, God will sovereignly place events in our lives that will teach us WHO is ultimately in control.  Okay, I admit it!  On my own I am helpless, hopeless and sometimes slightly hazardous. 

A few nights ago I had the opportunity to fellowship with a dear sweet friend for a few hours.  I’m thankful for the times God allows us to visit because she is such a constant source of joy, wisdom and encouragement to me.  We had been in discussion about how God doesn’t waste anything we go through but uses every single situation that we encounter in our lives to teach us and then equip us to minister to others.  Our Father also desires for us to learn and grow closer in our dependence on Him through those unexpected bumps in the road.  Little did I know that I was headed straight for another one of those ‘learning situations’ just a few short minutes after my friend and I said goodbye. 

While driving home from the church my son reminded me that we needed to get gas in our truck. I’m extremely thankful for his promptings because I have to admit that I rarely think about checking the gas gauge.  And after the “putting wrong gas in our diesel truck” incident from several months ago, Lord willing I will always remember that NOT every gas station carries diesel fuel.  Once we found the right gas station, it was already about 11:30 pm.  I then got out to help our teen son with fueling up the truck.  The boys claimed that they were extremely thirsty and pointed out the fact that the fountain drinks were on sale for 79 cents.  I usually encourage them to wait until we get home for a drink, but for some reason I agreed to treat them this time.  We finished getting fuel and I grabbed my purse from the truck as we all proceeded inside the gas station.  Trying to avoid any drinks with red dye 40 in them, we found some suitable beverages and checked out at the counter.  We finished paying and I went to grab my keys so we could finally leave and go home.  They weren’t where I usually try to put them, but that doesn’t always mean they aren’t in my purse.  Sometimes I lose things in there for weeks, but the missing items eventually do turn up. I believe for this very reason, our oldest son while growing up lovingly referred to my large purse as the ‘endless abyss’.  After searching for a few minutes for my keys, our teen son went out to the truck to see if I had left them in the ignition.  Indeed, he could see by looking through the window that the keys were locked safely inside our truck! 

Of course I knew I'd eventually need to call my husband to inform him once again of what was going on at the gas station. Whenever I get myself into these sort of crazy situations, I always begin my conversation with, “Don’t worry Richard, we are still alive and well.  We have not been in an accident and we are safe and okay.”  I think he has learned from that point what to expect from the rest of this type of conversation.  My goal is to help him remember to be extra thankful that we are okay, and that this tiny little incident is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life. Of course, he has been quite understanding each time and only wants us to be safe but I’m covering all of my bases just in case.

Okay, I’m being totally transparent and admitting that I’m really not an independent person.  For this very reason I believe God sovereignly knew I needed to get married two days after my 19^th birthday.  My husband is seven years older than me and very much the opposite of me, which is exactly how God planned it.  He is usually aware of what is happening around him, knows where he is going, doesn’t get lost while driving and doesn’t usually forget things.  If my personality is the exact opposite of those characteristics, then you’ve guessed it; I don’t always pay attention to everything that’s going on and I don’t always know where I’m going.  I’m directionally challenged and get lost on a regular basis while driving.  I tend to get distracted easily and don’t always remember things.  You are probably wondering how I am able to even get along in life?   Well, the simple answer is that I am dependent and I realize that I need lots of help.   Don’t get me wrong, I have other God given strengths and qualities that my Creator uses to glorify Him and serve others but I must admit I have many weak areas that I seriously need help with.  I believe that in our marriages, families and churches today we have gotten so caught up with the world’s philosophy and mentality of “I can do it all on my own”, that we don’t even realize that we do need each other’s help and support.  We’ve gotten away from closely knitting ourselves together in our relationships. We’ve drifted away from sharing our needs and vulnerabilities with others because we want to appear to be able to fine on our own without anyone else’s help.  

Because we all like to believe that we are totally self sufficient, we often depend on our own human ability to handle life's situations . We must come to the realization that we just don’t have the strength and wisdom it takes to solve all of our problems.  We must remember the reality that we are not independent and we cannot do anything apart from God.  Jesus says in John 15:5 “ I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me, you can do nothing.”  No matter how big or small your trial may seem, God always has one goal for His children.  Our loving Father wants us on our knees in prayer of adoration and praise to Him, trusting and depending on His sovereign will and plan for this life He has given us.  Apart from this, we CANNOT expect to be blessed by God when we are trusting in our own human abilities or intellect.  Our power and strength come from admitting we are weak, powerless and absolutely nothing with our Savior.  In our weakness we can rest assured that Christ will always show His strength.  We see in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

I’m thankful to God that our gas station story has a happy ending.  I’m learning that we must always look for the beneficial reasons for why God may have allowed a situation to come into our lives. The blessings from our little escapade actually turned out to be numerous!  We were able to witness the kindness of the gas station attendant who gave us a free box full of donuts to take home, which the boys were extra thankful for.  I was able to share with the man about how God answers my prayers every time these kinds of things happen.   I got to spend quality time talking with our boys about the importance of flexibility and patience during these kind of situations.  We were thankful that we only had to wait only an hour and thirty minutes for the tow truck to come and unlock our door for us.  I also knew that God wanted me to share what He was teaching me through this situation with others through this blog.  No matter what happens in this life, we always need to look for the things we have to be thankful for.

Our sovereign God is Amazing!  I praise and thank Him for His love and patient reminders that He is always there for me as my source of power to accomplish what He has for me to do.  I am extremely grateful that I never need to rely on my own meager strength to accomplish anything.  Apart from God’s power, I’m a miserable failure and I’m okay with that. He continues to work daily on me by stripping away my pride and bringing me to my knees in humility. God’s strength is always perfect even though in my own strength I am helpless, hopeless and sometimes have the potential to be a little hazardous. 

Who Are You Trying To Impress Anyway?

 I am fully aware at this point in my life that God enjoys using the children He’s sovereignly blessed us with to bring me to humility whenever I need a reminder.  I must expect by now that I won’t be riding any high horse for very long before God allows one of my kids to say or do something that convicts me of my nasty sin of pride.  Many times I elevate “MY” expectations over God’s expectations, which somehow never seems to work out in my favor.  Once such instance where my priorities were out of whack occurred this last weekend as we were getting ready for lots of company to arrive at our home.  

I’ve always enjoyed opportunities to extend hospitality to others and this past weekend we were looking forward to having my husband’s family come to stay at our new home.  They are very gracious and thankful house guests who certainly don’t expect the luxurious accommodations of the Ritz Carlton Hotel when they come, but I was dead set on getting everything accomplished that “I” thought needed to be done before they arrived.  Shortly before their arrival, I was still frantically attempting to get every detail taken care of so that everything would be “perfect”.  Our 17 year old daughter Elizabeth and I hurried out to quickly run some last minute errands in town.  She listened as I continuously muttered little prayers out loud as I drove saying, “Lord, PLEASE let me get that deck chair painted before they get here and PLEASE let us find a vacuum cleaner to buy so we can get home and vacuum before time runs out.”  Elizabeth definitely sensed my anxiety at the realization that I may not get everything completed on my “to do” list in time.  She tried to comfort my fears several times by telling me not to worry about it.  Seeing that her attempts to bring me to repentance of my sin of anxiety and fear were in vain, my daughter wisely asked me one simple question, “Mom, who are you trying to impress anyway?”  This may not sound like a profound question to anyone else besides me, but God used those words she spoke to hit me like a ton of bricks!  After all, who did I think I was and who was I trying to impress with all the things I wanted to accomplish anyway?  Were my efforts all an attempt to give glory to my God or was it all done in vainglory to exalt myself?
Once again as numerous times before, I was faced with my ugly sin of pride!  All of my personal perfectionistic expectations didn’t mean a thing to my husband’s family, but most importantly, they didn’t mean a thing to God.  This whole situation reminded me of the account of Mary and Martha in the Bible.  Jesus had come to town and was invited over to the home of his good friends Lazarus and his two sisters Mary and Martha.  Apparently Martha was very hospitable, having the best of intentions and wanted everything perfect for Jesus, and who wouldn’t?!  But she was distracted by so much ‘serving’ that she became slightly annoyed by her sister Mary’s devotion to simply sit at Jesus’ feet.  Martha was so preoccupied with the busy tasks she wanted to accomplish in the kitchen that she couldn’t see the most important aspect of extending hospitality.  In Luke 10:39-42 we witness the interaction between Jesus and Martha as it seems she is complaining and seeking sympathy from Him as her sister wasn’t helping her in the kitchen.  (Vs. 39-42)  Martha pleads, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Therefore tell her to help me.  And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part which will not be taken from her”.  Jesus is lovingly showing Martha that she does not need to worry, fear or be troubled about all of those little details she thought she needed to accomplish for His visit, but that the most important priority she could have was to lovingly minister to Jesus by spending time with Him and be ministered by Him in return.  Mary wasn’t being lazy as implied by her sister Martha.  I’m sure she had been helping her to prepare for Jesus’ visit before He arrived, but her priority was to show her dedication to Him by humbly sitting at his feet and soaking in His teachings.  I must admit that I naturally tend to gravitate toward having Martha’s priorities by being wrapped up in the serving and accomplishing tasks part of having company instead of taking the time to sit and fellowship with the guests in my home like I should.
My daughter’s convicting words and the Holy’s Spirit prompting me to recall the account of Mary and Martha really made me think.  The entire source of my anxiety while preparing for our company was based on my selfish priorities not matching up with God’s priorities for me.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not a clean heart versus clean house sort of battle.  A clean home, a warm, inviting atmosphere, good food, and fresh sheets and towels are very important to provide when showing hospitality to others.  I believe meeting all of these physical needs of others is a testimony for Christ and it demonstrates His love.  My problem always comes when I get caught up in the unnecessary expectations I place on myself and others in trying to do things that are not God’s will for me to accomplish at that time.
No one cares if I get the chairs on the deck painted!  No one cares if all of our walls are perfectly painted with no scuffs!  No one cares if all of the cans and Tupperware in the kitchen pantry are completely organized!  There’s certainly nothing wrong with having those things done, but if I’m more concerned about those superficial tasks than I am humbly bowing to God’s “to do” list for me, I am elevating my will above His and that ALWAYS means trouble!  We’re told in Philippians 2:5, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus”.  It’s imperative for us to keep our attitudes, actions and priorities constantly in check with Christ’s.  If we have the mind of Christ we’ll be focused more on praying for our company, encouraging them and looking for ways to meet their needs during their visit instead of making sure all the windows are smudge free. 

 Do you struggle like I have at times with having the wrong priorities in this area?  If so, I hope you will remember this blog post the next time you’re preparing to have company. Instead of spending time on all of the extra superficial tasks that your guests may never notice, I challenge you to adjust your priorities to meet Christ’s.  I guarantee without a doubt that this will bring FAR more honor, glory and praise to our God than any nicely painted deck chair ever could.

Moving, Purses, Scissors, Clean it Out!!! Deja Vu

You would think that one completely and utterly embarrassing public situation would be quite enough for some people, but not me!  Apparently I don’t always learn the first time and must enjoy repeating the same sort of predicaments over and over.  Have I finally learned my lesson with this one?  Time will certainly tell.

Recently my husband and I ran some errands that we needed to take care of after our move to a new area.  One such task was to fill out some tax information on our property at the local courthouse.  A visit to the courthouse would not be a problem for most law abiding citizens, but because of my past “history” with metal detectors I try to steer clear of highly secured public buildings, just in case.  My reluctance stems back to an unpleasant incident at the Nashville Courthouse involving 3 large pair of scissors.  We were there to support friends by attending a trial, but before we could even get through the door, we were required to pass through security.  I do admit that although I was carrying an enormous purse, I sincerely was not aware of the fact that I was packing 3 full size pair of sewing scissors.  In my defense, we were in the process of moving out of state, so I apparently put all of our scissors in my purse for safekeeping so my kids wouldn’t use them for some craft project and neglect to return them to me.  That particular morning at the courthouse, each of my attempts to pass through the metal detectors seemed to be failing miserably.  I noticed that the very nice security guard was becoming quite annoyed with me and my absentmindedness.  Surely he could recognize that I did not appear to be a threatening or dangerous person.  Although each time he pulled out a new pair of scissors from my purse, I could tell that his doubts about my innocence and sanity were becoming more cemented in his mind.  Sad to say, even though I came close to being labeled as a threat to security and being personally escorted from the building, they confiscated every pair of scissors I owned and did not return them to me!  In the midst of these upsetting circumstances, I was reminded of the dream I’d had the night before clearly telling me to clean out my purse.  I had realized that it was heavy from all of the unnecessary weight that didn’t belong in there but I’d gotten so busy with packing for our move that I overlooked my desperate need to clean it all out.  You would think that I would’ve learned to keep my purse clean after this excruciatingly embarrassing fiasco, but I am special and God apparently enjoys displaying His sense of humor through the nutty things I do.

Hence, my latest incident of déjà vu just a few weeks ago with another courthouse metal detector, my huge handbag and large scissors has really made me think.  While attempting to enter the courthouse to sign papers regarding our property taxes, I again needed to be cleared through a metal detector.  Once again, the detectors did not like some items I was unknowingly carrying around.  Apparently there were some things that were considered “weapons” that were pulled from my purse, one of which was a full size pair of scissors which I honestly didn’t remember putting in there.  I apologized over and over to the police officer who seemed to question my sincerity, but was nice enough to return my scissors upon my departure from the building.  Needless to say, my husband stopped me just in time from mentioning to the law enforcement officer about my previous encounters with metal detectors and scissors.

Both of these very stressful real life, self induced, awkward incidents could’ve been avoided if I’d simply remained diligent in purging the unnecessary clutter and maintaining a clean purse.  In reflecting on these predicaments, I was reminded of some important truths that often get neglected in our spiritual lives.  Just as I was distracted by all of the tasks of moving that I didn’t remain focused on cleaning out my purse, which caused me many problems, the same thing can happen in our spiritual life.  We frequently become so caught up with everyday life that we forget to take time for cleansing and purifying our heart before God.  When we choose to allow sin to build and clutter up our hearts and do not confess it, we will then begin to suffer the damaging, devastating and life altering consequences.

Believe me, I am the poster child for what unconfessed sin can do to a person.  I used to be so extremely prideful!  I rarely confessed my sin for years and I was a huge mess!  The guilt from harboring sin in my heart almost destroyed my relationships and my health. Since God’s law is written on our hearts, we experience guilt when we deviate from His standards by sinning.  Romans 2:15 says, “Who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or excusing them.”  Even though we may not realize it, by choosing to harbor our sin and not confess it, our conscience is full of guilt.  Guilt does terrible things to us by altering our brain chemicals, causing all kinds of mental, physical and spiritual problems.  I know how unconfessed sin can destroy someone because my heart was overtaken by the guilt of my sin that I refused to confess.  I was headed for self destruction because I wouldn’t humble myself and clean out my heart!  Praise God for His patience and love toward me!  Praise God for His powerful Word and the fact that the blinders came off my eyes showing me the tremendous load of guilt I was carrying and my need to confess it.

God’s Word shows us the devastating effects that unconfessed sin has on our life, our health, our well being and our relationships with Him and others.  In Proverbs 28:13 we see “He who covers his sin will NOT prosper, BUT he who confesses and forsakes it will obtain mercy.” The example of King David’s disobedience to God by committing adultery and murder is found in 2 Samuel 11-12.  After being confronted and suffering a host of destructed consequences, David’s repentance of his sin is well documented in Psalm 51.  He felt the tremendous weight of guilt from his unconfessed sin and cries out to God in Psalm 51:10 saying, “Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within in me.”  In Psalm 38:3 David talks about how he has “no soundness of flesh or health in his bones” and his “wounds stink from his sin that was festering.” All of these were results were from initially refusing to clean out his heart from sin.  

There is a hope and cure for the nasty sin that we each harbor.  In I John 1:9 we can rest in the promise that “If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.”  Once our heart is cleaned out from sin, we will experience and witness the power of God in our lives like never before!  Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:8,“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” 

Here are the most important truths about my heart that I’ve learned in my spiritual life:

·         Understand how wicked and deceitful my heart can be.
·         Be aware of and guard the condition of my inner heart.
·         Daily reading and applying God’s Word convicts me of sin and motivates me to confess it.
·         Don’t be distracted by the clutter of life and neglect purifying my heart of sin before God and others.
·         Even if the sin has been there for years, I must get it cleaned out.
·         No matter how big or small my sin may seem, it’s all an offense to my Holy God.
·         Keeping up daily maintenance of sin is crucial to living an abundant, blessed life.  
·         I must be sensitive to the spiritual “detectors” God allows in my life that remind me of sin I may be harboring.
·         Always remember how much I suffered physically, mentally, and spiritually before choosing to confess my sin.
·         Treasure the peace and joy that comes from a heart that if purified through confession.
·         Be thankful for how God shows His power in and through me when my heart is pure.
·         Praise God Almighty for sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross in my place to pay for my filthy sin!

I pray that each one reading my post today will take the time to humble yourselves, bow before the Lord and confess any sin that may be cluttering up your heart today.  The benefits of a pure heart will be life altering for you and everyone you come in contact with.  Once the guilt from harboring sin is gone, it is replaced by a peace and joy that ONLY our Savior’s blood could provide.  Be prepared to “see” God working AMAZING things in your life and using you to accomplish what seems impossible to men.  Every one of us desires to live a life blessed by our Creator.  The secret to living an abundant life in Christ is keeping our heart pure from sin.  My prayer is that you’ll remember my crazy stories about my cluttered purse and my need to clean it out and it will prompt you to purify your heart from sin.

What if He Were Exactly Like Me?

What if Jesus had come to earth only to live a life of comfort and luxury?

What if Jesus only came to be loved and admired, craving the respect of others?

What if Jesus had come solely to be entertained and have a good time?

What if Jesus came to have everyone else serve Him?

What if Jesus spoke only to those who received Him well and refused to forgive those who mistreated Him?

This past week as Christians have been celebrating the death, burial and resurrection of the Savior of the world, I began to evaluate the humility of Christ in stark comparison to my selfish pride.  How could Jesus leave heaven to come to a sin filled earth full of people who despised and rejected Him?  How could He be so loving and gentle in His reaction to the mistreatment He received from those He came to die for?  How could Jesus be so selfless, serving and sacrificing for those who beat, bruised, spit on Him and nailed His hands and feet to a wooden cross?  If we were to be truly honest, how many of us would ever fathom the thought of enduring that kind of suffering at the hands of the very ones we serve.   In our human selfishness, we often tend to concentrate on ourselves and elevate our own needs and desires above those we claim to serve.  As I’ve been reflecting on the Awesome sacrifice Jesus made for all humanity, I began wondering where mankind would be if Jesus were exactly like me?

I know a lot about dealing with prideful people who look out primarily for themselves because I used to be a very selfish person.   When my husband and I were married 24 years ago, I was still a teenager and then became a mom at the age of 21.  I remember being shocked at all of the work that was required of me as a new wife and then new mother.  Suddenly I couldn’t just think about myself anymore, there were others whose needs I had to learn to place before my own.   Over the years, and with each new child the Lord blessed us with, He also continued chiseling away at my selfishness and arrogance. I’ve had to learn that when you are a servant you are not always honored for every little thing that you accomplish.  As a servant, you can’t be consumed with your own well-being above everyone else’s.  As a servant, you will not always be treated the way you feel you deserve to be treated.  As a servant you can’t expect people to pamper you and treat you with the respect you feel you deserve for your efforts.  Even through all of these lessons over the years, there are times now when I may be tempted to complain when I have what seems like an insurmountable “to do” list.  It is at that very moment that I am convicted of my sin and am drawn to the ultimate example of humility that I can find only in my Savior.  In Mark 10:45 we see how Jesus viewed servanthood, “The Son of Man came not to be ministered to but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

If Jesus were like me, He would never have asked for suffering.  If Jesus were like me, He would prefer a life of comfort and luxury, spending His time being entertained and having a fun with family and friends. If Jesus were like me, He would prefer to be served by others rather than serve.  If Jesus were like me, He would choose to talk only to those who were kind to Him and wouldn’t feel like forgiving those who mistreated Him.  If Jesus were like me, He would not willingly love those who didn’t love Him first.  If Jesus were like me, there would be NO cross, NO substitutionary atonement, NO forgiveness of sin, NO eternal life, and absolutely NO hope for mankind.     

During this time of celebrating the resurrection of Jesus from the grave, I am especially thankful that Jesus is absolutely nothing like me!  I’m grateful that Jesus did not come to earth to be served, respected, pampered, honored, loved, admired, adored or entertained.   In Isaiah 53:3 we truly see how Christ was treated as He came to die in our place, “He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.” I am humbled and in awe of His greatness as I reflect on the humility, love, mercy, grace and forgiveness of Christ.

 The power of Jesus shed blood on the cross for my sin has washed away the penalty and debt that I owed but could never repay myself. Peter tells us in I Peter 2:24, “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. The resurrection of Jesus from the grave showed that death has no power over Him. “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your sting?  O grave, where is your victory?  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Corinthians 15:54b-57 Jesus finished work on the cross is our only source of hope!     I Peter 1:18-21 explains this hope, “Knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, BUT with the precious blood , as a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.  For He was foreknown before the foundation of the world, but has appeared in these last times for the sake of you who through Him are believers in God, who raised Him from the dead and gave Him glory, so that your faith and HOPE are in God.”

 Praise God Almighty that Jesus is nothing like me!  Because Jesus is the spotless lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world, we have the hope of eternal glory.  I pray that you will take time to examine your heart in light of the sacrifice Jesus has made for us on the cross and humbly reflect on the condition of your heart in comparison to God’s Holy Word.  What if Jesus were exactly like you?

Faithfully Rescued Once Again

Have you ever gotten yourself into an extremely embarrassing predicament and you weren’t quite sure how you were going to get out of it?  For some reason, these sort of silly but potentially serious situations happen to me quite often.  I believe that God must enjoy using me as an example to others about the reality of human frailty and our need to rely on HIS power to rescue us.  Hopefully I’m learning all of the lessons God has for me along the way.  I pray that I will remain transparent in my inadequacies so that others may see the awesome power of our God to accomplish what sometimes seems to be humanly impossible.

One of these interesting situations occurred several months ago while on our farm.  The day started wonderfully as I looked forward to some special time alone with our youngest son Joshua.  Our three older teens were all at camp for the week and my husband was gone on a business trip out of town.   Joshua and I had exciting plans for our day together, but we first needed to take care of our chores around the farm. We were in charge of feeding all of the animals for the week, which was usually the responsibility of our older kids.  As we went out of the house and shut the door behind us, suddenly I felt a large lump in my throat.  I definitely knew something wasn’t quite right.  Have you ever had that nagging feeling where you just knew without a doubt you had forgotten something but couldn’t recall what it was?  Within seconds of closing the door to the house I realized that the door was indeed locked, and I had NO key! 

 A wave of panic swept over me like you wouldn’t believe!  Have I mentioned that besides the fact that I did NOT have a key, I did NOT have a phone, I did NOT have any money, I did NOT have any food and I did NOT have any makeup! To give you an even more vivid picture of the situation, I was wearing my pajamas and I had not yet combed my hair!  For those of you who really know me, need I say more?  How much more embarrassing could it get?  I’ve learned not to even ask such a question anymore. Trust me, things CAN and HAVE gotten EVEN far more humbling for me at times.  This may explain why my Grandma used to compare some of my nutty escapades with those of Lucille Ball in the “I Love Lucy” episodes from the 1950’s.

In my depair, I then turned to my 8 year old who possesses the reasoning skills of a middle aged man and informed him that we were indeed locked out of the house.  Josh, being a huge fan of the 80’s television show “MacGuyver”, quickly transitioned into creative idea mode as he reviewed all of the episodes in his mind where MacGuyver was able to skillfully open locks with some sort of homemade device.  One such solution involved the breaking of a light bulb, but I quickly dismissed that notion due to the fact that it sounded slightly dangerous.  After realizing that none of the attachments on his pocket utility knife were going to unlock the door, I said, “Josh, let’s pray right now and ask God to help us because He promises in His Word that He will always come to our rescue in times of trouble.”  Although we weren’t sure what God was going to do, after praying we decided to go ahead and proceed in feeding the animals.  As we walked down the long lane of our farm, Josh kept persistently asking how we were going to get back into the house.  I reassured him and myself that even though we didn’t have the answer, God always has a solution and we needed to trust Him and wait for Him to reveal it to us.

Within seconds, God brought to mind what had happened the previous week when I was washing windows in our great room on the second floor.  We were getting ready to have company and I had been cleaning the windows at the highest part of our house.  In the process, one of those windows got stuck and no matter how hard I tried it would not completely close after it was clean.  In my forgetfulness I left it that way and neglected to inform my strong husband that it needed to be fixed.  In my mind, it seemed as if the possibility of being able to climb in the window would be our best solution.  To explore this option, Josh and I went around the house and starred at the window that seemed so far away from the ground where we were standing.  Indeed there was a very tiny opening at the bottom of the window which was great news, but how in the world would we be able to reach it without a very tall ladder?  If we did have a ladder to reach, how would we be able to get up there and get through the small window?  Who would God send to help us accomplish this seemingly impossible task?

As I’ve learned through all of these crazy situations, God is faithful and always has perfect timing!  Just then, one of our two neighbors came out to leave to go to work for the day.  For some divine reason, he had not left as early as usual, and I mustered up enough courage in my embarrassing state of mind and presence to go over and ask him if he could help us.  I explained how we had locked ourselves out, and that my husband and older kids were gone for the week.  I was thankful that he didn’t even seem to bat an eye at my ridiculous appearance and I believe he was already aware of my tendency to be absentminded from previous conversations. Our kind neighbor said he could call a locksmith but that it may take hours for them to arrive and try to open the door.  I then mentioned the incident where I wasn’t able to shut the living room window from the week before.  He asked if we had a ladder tall enough to reach the window but I thought it was locked up in an outbuilding so he drove his truck over to another neighbor to borrow one of their ladders. I found some hedge cutters and quickly began cutting down shrubs and bushes so that we could even get near the side of the house where the window was located.  When he returned with the ladder, we both realized that the only one who could fit up there and crawl through the window would be Joshua.  Josh was scared to climb that high, and I’m also fearful of heights, so our neighbor gently guided Josh up to the top of the ladder by holding onto him and carefully following him.  As soon as they were finally at the top, he helped Josh open the window and slowly crawl inside the house. Although visibly terrified, Josh was SO very excited that even though he was a little boy, he was the one person who could get inside to unlock the door.  He said, “Praise the Lord that I am small enough to fit through the window”.  Those were such joyful, beautiful words for me to hear our young son give God the glory for what He had done.  It also showed his sensitive and thankful heart towards God’s sovereignty and provision in our lives.

Although our uncertain circumstances only lasted less than two hours, it seemed like an eternity. Praise God that the incident was finally over! I was really not interested in hanging outside all day in my pajamas, but if that would’ve been the case, then I believe that God would’ve had a purpose in allowing it to happen.  God orchestrates and works even the littlest details in our lives together for our good and for His glory.  “And we know that God causes ALL things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) The fact that our neighbor was home to help us at just the right time and that the window would not shut from the week before were evidences of God’s hand at work in fulfilling His promises to take care of us.   It was God who reminded me that the window had not shut completely.  It was God who allowed the whole incident to take place so that we could testify of His power to do what seemed to be humanly impossible to us that day.  Through this situation Joshua was able to see that God uses little kids to accomplish His purposes, which was a huge faith builder for him. 

This was just another chapter in the book of God’s amazing teaching moments in my life.  My desire is to give a transparent picture and encourage others in their relationship with the Lord.  He desires for us to call upon His name in times of trouble and desires for us to trust Him completely.  Too often we attempt to solve our problems in our own strength, and wait for every human resource to be exhausted before even asking God for help.  Our Deliverer wants us to come to him in our desperation and cry out to Him for help, knowing that HE is our ONLY solution, we do not need to fear.  For this reason, we are reminded in Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.  Therefore, I will NOT fear.”  I pray that the next time you are faced with a situation that seems hopeless or humanly impossible that you will remember this story of how God rescued me and have the faith that He will also deliver you. 

Confessions Of A Former Shopaholic

Recently my kids and I decided to tackle the huge task of cleaning out our storage room.  I’d been successfully procrastinating this monumental chore for months but because we had accepted an offer for the sale of our home I could no longer put it off.  The thought of loading up all of those totes and moving them to yet another house seriously made me want to sit in a corner and cry.  We are by no means pack rats, for with each move over the past several years we’ve continued to weed through and get rid of many possessions that we no longer needed.  I guess I had prided myself on the fact that I had already purged our home of most of the materialistic remains from my days as a shopaholic.   Apparently since I had given away numerous boxes full of clothing with tags still on them a few years ago, I had fooled myself into believing that I had the right to hold on to just a few extra home décor items.  As I began looking through all of those totes and boxes, I was surprised to discover 38 pillar candles, 26 votive candles, 15 decorative wreaths, 8 totes full of fall décor (although, my favorite season), 10 boxes of fabric and trim, 7 totes filled with Christmas decor, 4 totes of silk and dried flowers, 3 totes containing dining room curtains that I’d made for different seasons and several extra lampshades in case I decided to change out our homes color schemes.

 Overwhelmed and confused, with tears in my eyes, I desperately cried out loud, “What insane person bought all of this stuff!?”  One of my daughters smiled and wisely told me that I’d get my answer if I would only look in the mirror.  Although I do appreciate her sassy sweetness and honesty, I’m still trying to figure out where she inherited her spunky personality from (hmmm?).  Of course my question was rhetorical, I knew that I'd been solely responsible for purchasing every single one of those decorative items. Although I’m a thrifty shopper, what’s really alarming to me is at the time I bought them I believed with all my heart I “needed” them.  For some reason, I always felt the need to be ready for any decorating emergency that would ever arise at home or at church.

Please know that I’m not in any way condemning people for decorating their homes.  It’s important for us to make our homes an inviting, cozy, comfortable refuge for our family and to extend hospitality to others and serve them; however, this sentiment can be taken to an extreme. “Extreme” is a colorful yet kind way of describing myself in my former years labeled as a “shopaholic”.  I was consumed with every little detail of decorating to the point where I was painting some new color in my home almost every week because I was never content.  I guess that I was out to find that one paint color that would meet all of my needs and could give me the peace that I’d been searching for.  In reality my discontentment was not with the paint colors I was choosing, but with the inner sinful condition of my heart in trying to meet my needs with everything else besides the only One who could fulfill me.

My former shopaholic confessions do not stop there!  Home décor was not my only obsession.  Along with the desperate need I felt to make my home look perfect, was the distorted view I had of myself and my appearance.  Clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, make up, and hair products were very important to me as well.  A few years ago, my separate walk in closet was so stuffed full of clothes, shoes, purses and jewelry to the point where I couldn’t even shut the door! Most clothes hung there for months with store tags on them. I would not leave the house without wearing all of my jewelry and would never be caught dead carrying an inexpensive purse.  Only the top designer brands would do because I was so consumed with what other people thought of me.  This sad reality is completely embarrassing and difficult for me to comprehend now when my family reminds me of how things used to be.  I was so unhappy with myself that I dyed my hair a different color every week to where some people at church didn’t even recognize me at times. I had to have tan skin, whether real or fake and I couldn’t go a day without my fake French manicured nails.  I'm not saying that it's wrong to want to look nice or have nice things, but if that is your consuming focus and you put those desires above your relationship with God, it is sin.

Okay, let’s pause right here so I can address all of those people who are now feeling sorry for my husband.  My husband traveled and worked lots of hours because someone needed to pay for all of those material possessions.  I didn’t feel like he could ever meet all my needs so I thought buying material items would fill the void in my heart and make me complete.  In one aspect I was totally right, no wife should ever think that her husband should be responsible or even has the ability to meet all of her needs.  A person can ONLY be fulfilled and complete through a deep relationship with our loving heavenly Father who knows us better than anyone else ever could.  My heart and mind were so blinded to the truth because of believing way too many of Satan’s lies!

Our enemy is seeking our destruction, in John 10:10 we are warned about Satan and his intentions for us, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”.  When we adopt the world’s belief system about materialism and relationships instead of clinging to the Truth of God’s Word, we are only headed for heartache and pain.  Once we buy into Satan’s lies in our minds, reality seems to become a little blurry and we begin to make some very wrong choices.  Those wrong choices that we “think” are going to meet our needs never can and we are only left with our guilt from doing wrong.  Once we’ve believed the lie and acted on the lie, we are then left to deal with the guilt of our disobedience.  There are only two choices to make with our guilt, we either confess the sin, or choose to tuck it away and harbor it in our heart and allow it to fester and grow which causes more destruction.  I knew down deep inside that the choices I was making were in disobedience to God and I’m extremely thankful that He humbled me to the point where I finally saw my sin for the ugliness that it was.  It was when I became a humble beggar before God that I confessed my sin of materialism in every area and finally discovered that inner peace that has drastically changed my life.

 Only a pure heart before God can allow us to possess that joy, peace, freedom and contentment we all so desperately long for.  Being a shopaholic seems harmless, but no matter how minute our sin problem may seem, we have to realize that we are seeking to fill a void with material things that only God can fill, which is idolatry.  Our fulfillment ONLY comes when we have a pure heart cleansed from our sin, and are being used by God to accomplish His purpose for creating us.  Oh how I mourn over the fact that I could’ve used God’s money and my time in a much better way to serve others and not just myself.

  No mall shopping experience will ever meet our deepest hopes and desires.  No outfit, designer purse, jewelry or home décor items have the ability to grant us peace and joy. Peace never comes from owning any material possession, it can only come from God.  I finally realized that when we are craving anything other than a deep relationship with our Creator, we are grasping to satisfy an appetite that will only leave us hungry every single time.   Even though we must face the fact that shopping is an unavoidable necessity in this world, our true heart condition will be clearly evident in how we shop, why we shop, where we shop, how often we shop, what we buy and how much of God’s money we spend while shopping. Matthew 6:21 explains a very important truth that each of us must grasp in order to enjoy an abundant life on this earth, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  What we put importance on and value clearly shows the condition of our heart. I now understand why the most contented people in this life are those who lay up treasures in heaven and are not consumed and entrapped by the material things of this world. 

Do you struggle like I did for so long with being consumed about what other people think of you, your outward appearance and the things you own ?  Have you been trusting in superficial material possessions to fill the void that only God can fill?  I pray that this transparent glimpse into my former way of life and heart condition will help others see their need to change as well.    

Never Alone

Is your pathway difficult?

Does the road you travel seem lonely?

Do you struggle to find a reason for why you face the trials at hand?

Do you wonder how long your journey will last or if your suffering will ever end?

Trials in this life are not a question of “if” but “when.  Every person who has ever lived from the beginning of time has had sorrow enter into their lives at one time or another.  I’ve also learned through experience that suffering always involves some sort of loss.  There was someone or something that we once enjoyed that is now gone and that loss has left a void in our lives.  Even though suffering cannot be avoided, does this mean we have no hope? 

No matter what kind of suffering we may encounter, whether it's from sickness or a health problem, losing a loved one through death or abandonment, having a child choose to deny their faith, losing a job, or the betrayal of a spouse or friend ….. It is NEVER a surprise to God.  He foreknows exactly what path each of us must take in this life and when we need to follow it.  He knows how steep and long the road will be, but safely leads and guides us through it.  We won’t be aware of the many bumps and turns we'll find along the way, but Jesus tells us in John 8:12, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”  We can safely follow our unknown path with confidence, guided by the light of His faithful presence.

Sometimes it seems as if we're traveling alone on our path of suffering but God reassures us in Deut. 31:8, “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you.  He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”We will never have cause for worry or fear because we're reminded in Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” During distress God is our only source of true peace, comforting beyond anything we could ever conceive or imagine.

Isaiah 53:3 tells us that Jesus was “A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…” because He experienced extreme torture and agony on the cross that we could never begin to fathom.  Because of God’s deep love for His creation, our Deliverer chose the road of suffering and bore our pain and sin on the cross.  Jesus’ choice to die in our place gave us the opportunity to choose eternal life through His precious blood.  Our Father longs to carry the weight of our burdens and gathers each tear that we shed and stores them in a bottle (Psalm 56:8).  The Sovereign One knows we would never reach the destination He‘s planned for us except by following this specific road of heartache.    
The Great Physician has the power to heal the sick, physically and spiritually. He may choose to make us well either in this life or by ushering us into His awesome presence.  He is the Living Water, our Creator and the Sustainer of each breath that we take.  In Colossians 1:16-17 we are told that “…All things were created through Him and for Him.  And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.”  The King of Kings and Lord of lords has the power to do as He pleases to accomplish His will.  God always has the highest and best reasons for what He allows in our lives, but He does not always choose to make those purposes known to us.  “All things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purposes.” (Romans 8:28)  God continues to use our suffering for our good and bring greater glory and honor to His Holy name.

Our Infinitely Wise Father knows we would never make the choice to walk this dark path. We would much rather remain in the comforts of our complacency, traveling the easy road.  God has our best in mind and tenderly leads as the Good Shepherd who loves His sheep.  When we’re weary and exhausted from our walk and feel we can’t go on, He wraps His strong arms around us and carries us.  God tells us in Psalm 23 that “His rod and His staff comfort us”.  Our shepherd watches over His flock and protects us from any dangers that may cross our path.  “Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes.” (Isaiah 40:11)  Our faithful Shepherd will never abandon His sheep.

We must keep our eyes on our Guide and Stay as He lead us safely to our destination.  Our Rock and Anchor will hold us secure through all the storms we may encounter.  Psalm 61:2 says, “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed:  lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”  No matter which path, no matter where it leads us, we must humbly go.  It is imperative that we continue trusting in our Father's promises and be commited to following His will for us through our suffering.  We must hold firmly to our Savior’s strong hand that has lovingly filtered every event that's been allowed to enter our lives.  We must remain faithful to the Author and Finisher of our faith until His work in and through us is accomplished.   

We witness the godly example of Job in Scripture and how his focus remained on the Lord throughout his journey of extreme suffering in his life. In Job 23:10 Job says, “But He (God) knows the way that I take;  When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”  God knew the exact path  Job was to take, and when and where Job’s journey of suffering would end.  Just as Job trusted God, it is imperative that we trust Him. Job knew God was working his suffering for his good, and we must also look for the ultimate benefit in why God is allowing our suffering.  We don’t all travel the same road of suffering, our paths may be very different, but the destination Christ intends is exactly the same for us all.  Our loving Daddy desires a deeper, richer, more intimate relationship with His children.  He is the Bread of Life who desires to use our suffering to bring more people into a saving knowledge of Him, to bring Himself glory, and to accomplish His eternal purposes.

There have been times that I've experienced sorrow in my life to the point where I thought my heart would actually physically break.  My husband and I have spent many sleepless nights on our knees, sobbing and crying out to God to intervene and put an end to our excruciating pain. All the while, God heard our cries and gently reassured us that He had all things under control.  As our hearts were breaking, we began to cling to the precious Scripture in James 1:2-4 that describes the purpose for our trials. “Finally my brethren, count it all joy when you endure various trial, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”   On the other side of that painful situation, we have witnessed our Father’s faithfulness numerous times in our lives.  God used that suffering to radically change us, humble us and brought us to the place where we could even have joy in the midst of our suffering.  Only our God can give us peace and purpose inside the fiery furnace.  When we see the result that the intense fire has had in purging and cleansing our hearts, we are amazed and thankful for the trials He allows. In our finite human minds, we may never fully understand our Father’s sovereign reasoning for allowing some of our trials until we enter into eternity.  However, even if we may not immediately identify the purpose for our pain, we CANNOT waste precious time questioning our Creator’s sovereignty. “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Phil. 2:13)  We can rest assured that our Creator does ALL things in perfect wisdom and goodness and does not have need to consult His creation before carrying out His plan. We are His workmanship and must confidently and completely trust Him, for HE ALONE is God! 

How about you, will you be found faithful in your suffering?  Are you trusting God to accomplish His will in and through you, and to others who witness your suffering? Do you truly believe that God has designed your path and every turn and bump has been lovingly placed in your way for a reason?  Just as Job was found faithful in all that he endured, will you also come forth shining as pure gold when your trial is finally over?   When this journey of life has ended, we must long to hear the words from our Master as the servant did in Matthew 25:23, “Well done good and faithful servant.”    

A "Sorry" Excuse

What does it mean when someone utters the phrase “I’m sorry” or “I apologize”?  What do those words really mean anyway? What are the true heart motives behind speaking these words to someone we’ve wronged? Because of our pride, most of us tend to avoid taking personal responsibility for any wrong doing. We'd much rather make excuses for our sin and shift the blame to someone else instead. If we do decide to own up to the fact that we’ve offended someone, our attitude and the words we choose to say to them definitely reflect the genuine condition of our heart.   

It has been my experience that the phrase “I’m sorry” doesn’t necessarily indicate a person’s repentant heart but can have several different connotations. Maybe someone is “sorry” that they were caught doing whatever they are apologizing for. A person may just be saying that they are “sorry” because they’re trying to patch up and gloss over the fact that they’ve offended you.  There are those times when an offender may even genuinely realize they’ve wronged you, but is a simple “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” enough?  Are using those phrases really setting the stage for true biblical reconciliation and restoration in a relationship that’s been severed?  I don’t believe for one minute that saying “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” go deep enough to allow for healing because of the lack of humility behind using those words.  In the Greek, the actual definition for apologize means “a speech in defense of”.    This is where we get the word “apologetics” from, which means “to defend our faith”. When we “apologize” what we're really doing is giving a defense for our wrong actions or making excuses for our sin.   

In reference to myself in this area, for the first 38 years of my life, I rarely acknowledged that I was ever wrong.  In my mind whatever happened was always someone else’s fault, never mine.   My pride blinded me and caused me to neglect taking personal responsibility for my sin in relationships with others and to God.  When something was blatantly my fault and I couldn’t come up with a good excuse to shift the blame to someone else, then I said the words “I’m sorry”.  I may have uttered the phrase “I’m sorry” but what I really meant in my heart was “I’m sorry that I have to deal with this situation” or “I’m sorry I have to deal with you.”  I just said whatever it took to get myself off the hook and move on to something else that did not further damage my ego.  Doesn’t sound like I had the spirit of humility now does it?  There are many other Christians out there, maybe even someone reading this blog post today, who are exactly the same way I was!

 Because of how God radically changed my heart in this area, I will no longer allow my kids to say “I’m sorry” when relating to those they have offended. “I’m sorry” is apologetic but cannot and should not take the place of true repentance. The words we instruct our children to say in the spirit of humility are, “I was wrong! Will you please forgive me for…” Biblically, there is no other phrase that can be substituted because true repentance shows that we are sincerely resolving to turn away from our sin, not just make defenses for it.

In God’s Word, we are never given the example to say “sorry” or “I apologize” to anyone.  When we come to God for salvation, we don’t pray “sorry God” and that makes everything all better.  In Romans 10:10 we see that we must confess our sin to come to salvation. “For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”  In Psalm 51:17 David describes the heart condition of one who is genuinely repenting of their sin. “A broken spirit and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”  The biblical definition of a “contrite heart” literally means to be broken-hearted for our sin; to be deeply affected with grief and sorrow for having offended God.  God never wants us to be “sorry” for our sin. God desires us to deeply sorrow and mourn over our sin and in brokenness come to Him in true repentance.  We are to admit that we’re a sinner who can never measure up to His holy standards and must ask Him to “Please forgive us”, which He so faithfully promises to do in I John 1:9.  Our confession and God’s forgiveness allows us to be able to enjoy a right relationship with Him.  

The next time it’s brought to your attention or you realize on your own that you’ve wronged someone, please don’t just say “sorry”, but humbly admit you were wrong in the situation, and ask those whom you’ve hurt to please forgive you.  Others can definitely sense whether your spirit is humble or prideful.  If the one whom you’ve offended senses pride in your demeanor, the biblical forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration process with not be fulfilled.  Just as we are told in James 4:6 that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble”, people also resist us when they detect pride in our apology.  Do you have some changes to make in this area like I did?  We would all enjoy a better relationship with God and others if we would only admit when we’re wrong, deeply mourn over our sin and humbly ask forgiveness from those we have offended .    

Who's Birthday Is It Anyway?

 

What if your life was so influential to all of mankind that your birthday was declared a worldwide international holiday?  Just picture in your mind for a moment how wonderful and amazing your special day would be!  Everyone would express their deep love and appreciation for your life by sending you cards, delivering special gifts to you and singing various birthday songs in your honor.  All businesses would be closed that day so that people could gather together with their family and friends for the sole purpose of celebrating your amazing life.  Can you even fathom all of these events taking place across the globe simply because of your existence?  In order to receive that kind of glory, you would have to be someone of greatness, someone of power, some sort of royalty or deity.

There is only One in all of mankind deserving of this kind of birthday celebration. His miraculous birth was foretold in the Old Testament and the prophecy was fulfilled in the New Testament.  Isaiah 7:14 says, “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign:  Behold the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” In Matthew 1:21 we are told, “She will bear a Son, and you will call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”  Jesus chose to leave His heavenly home of perfection to be born as a baby in a manger.  He chose to suffer and die as the substitute for our filthy sin because of His deep love and compassion for us.  Jesus came to earth to be born as a baby to offer mankind the greatest gift of all, salvation.  

“Christ”mas is not about Santa, Rudolph, toy making elves or finding just the right gift for family and friends.  None of these traditions are wrong, in and of themselves, but if we allow them to overshadow or replace the “true” meaning and purpose of “Christ”mas then it is a form of idolatry!  Isn’t all of this used by the master deceiver to cloud our vision and lead us away from devoting our time and adoration to the Savior of the world whose birthday we’re celebrating?  If we’re so set on celebrating Santa driving a sleigh across the world led by Rudolph’s red nose and singing festive songs that don’t even mention Christ’s name, then let’s find another day to celebrate those things and call it something other than “Christ”mas.  We should NOT become distracted from giving the proper honor, glory and ultimate praise due to the name of our precious Savior, Jesus Christ, especially on the day that’s been set aside to honor His birth.

 One of my very favorite songs “It’s About the Cross” hits the nail on the head in describing the real meaning of “Christ”mas. “Christ”mas is not all about the manger, the angels or the wise men bringing gifts.  “Christ”mas is ALL about the cross!  “Christ”mas is ALL about our sin!  The ultimate and most costly gift we could ever receive is not from our family or friends, but is the eternal life made possible only through Jesus’ blood. John 3:16 sums up the purpose of Christmas and why Christ came.  “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

During this “Christ”mas season, instead of being concerned about finding just the right presents for our loved ones, maybe we should focus more on what gifts Jesus would like for His birthday? Jesus wants our heart, our life, our time, our talent, our treasure and ALL of our honor, glory and praise!  May we all have a blessed “Christ”mas this year honoring the “Christ” whose birthday is the reason we celebrate. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpybjMd_Xfs     "It's About the Cross"