Who's Birthday Is It Anyway?

 

What if your life was so influential to all of mankind that your birthday was declared a worldwide international holiday?  Just picture in your mind for a moment how wonderful and amazing your special day would be!  Everyone would express their deep love and appreciation for your life by sending you cards, delivering special gifts to you and singing various birthday songs in your honor.  All businesses would be closed that day so that people could gather together with their family and friends for the sole purpose of celebrating your amazing life.  Can you even fathom all of these events taking place across the globe simply because of your existence?  In order to receive that kind of glory, you would have to be someone of greatness, someone of power, some sort of royalty or deity.

There is only One in all of mankind deserving of this kind of birthday celebration. His miraculous birth was foretold in the Old Testament and the prophecy was fulfilled in the New Testament.  Isaiah 7:14 says, “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign:  Behold the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” In Matthew 1:21 we are told, “She will bear a Son, and you will call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”  Jesus chose to leave His heavenly home of perfection to be born as a baby in a manger.  He chose to suffer and die as the substitute for our filthy sin because of His deep love and compassion for us.  Jesus came to earth to be born as a baby to offer mankind the greatest gift of all, salvation.  

“Christ”mas is not about Santa, Rudolph, toy making elves or finding just the right gift for family and friends.  None of these traditions are wrong, in and of themselves, but if we allow them to overshadow or replace the “true” meaning and purpose of “Christ”mas then it is a form of idolatry!  Isn’t all of this used by the master deceiver to cloud our vision and lead us away from devoting our time and adoration to the Savior of the world whose birthday we’re celebrating?  If we’re so set on celebrating Santa driving a sleigh across the world led by Rudolph’s red nose and singing festive songs that don’t even mention Christ’s name, then let’s find another day to celebrate those things and call it something other than “Christ”mas.  We should NOT become distracted from giving the proper honor, glory and ultimate praise due to the name of our precious Savior, Jesus Christ, especially on the day that’s been set aside to honor His birth.

 One of my very favorite songs “It’s About the Cross” hits the nail on the head in describing the real meaning of “Christ”mas. “Christ”mas is not all about the manger, the angels or the wise men bringing gifts.  “Christ”mas is ALL about the cross!  “Christ”mas is ALL about our sin!  The ultimate and most costly gift we could ever receive is not from our family or friends, but is the eternal life made possible only through Jesus’ blood. John 3:16 sums up the purpose of Christmas and why Christ came.  “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

During this “Christ”mas season, instead of being concerned about finding just the right presents for our loved ones, maybe we should focus more on what gifts Jesus would like for His birthday? Jesus wants our heart, our life, our time, our talent, our treasure and ALL of our honor, glory and praise!  May we all have a blessed “Christ”mas this year honoring the “Christ” whose birthday is the reason we celebrate. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpybjMd_Xfs     "It's About the Cross"

Prodigals In The Pew

Do you believe that a prodigal is someone who forsakes God by recklessly participating in destructive sinful behaviors with no concerns that it will ultimately lead them to ruin?  I used to think that a rebellious person was one who abandoned God, their family and the church to pursue a selfish worldly lifestyle, searching for what they thought would bring them peace, joy and fulfillment.  I then came to the realization there is a form of rebellion that isn’t quite as blatant as I once had believed, for there are MANY prodigals occupying church pews every Sunday!  Outwardly they may not appear to be the stereotypical rebel as they carry their Bible, are involved in various church ministries, and seem to have it all together. The prodigal may give the outward facade to others around them that they are living a holy, righteous life. People may be easily fooled because they cannot see the condition of the prodigal’s rebellious, prideful heart, BUT God certainly does!

I am extremely familiar with how a prodigal in the pew can go through the outward motions of the Christian life, but have a wretched inner heart condition.  It never dawned on me that I was  in rebellion until the Lord used the preaching of His Word in the Sermon on the Mount to penetrate my cold apathetic heart.  A prodigal can graduate from a Bible College, a prodigal can be a Sunday School teacher, a prodigal can be a pastor or deacon’s wife, a prodigal can be a homeschooling mom.  Prodigals in the pew can try to fool just about everyone, BUT will never be able to deceive God!  A rebellious person is blinded by their unconfessed sin and justifies their sin because they think it’s not a bad as someone else’s.  Their rebellion and guilt that comes from harboring unconfessed sin causes their “spiritual eyes” to be closed and their “spiritual ears” to no longer hear God’s voice.  Carelessness and indifference set in and the desire to have a humble and pure heart before God disappears.  Prodigals have NO joy and NO desire for close fellowship with the God who created them.  They believe the lie that this life is for US and is solely for OUR own entertainment and pleasure.  The prodigal proudly proclaims, “This is MY life and I WANT to live MY life the WAY I want to!” and isn’t concerned about breaking God’s heart or causing enormous pain and heartache for those who love them most.

Outwardly, for many years, I appeared to be a committed follower of Christ.  I went to church, sang in the choir, attended Bible studies, spoke at ladies events, counseled ladies and was involved in many other “God honoring” activities.  I believed that as long as I was doing all of those good external things I could hold onto my bitterness, unforgiveness, envy and silent anger. I was SO blinded and deceived by my sin!!!  My sin stole my joy and took away any desire to read God’s Word.  I seldom made it through a sermon without falling asleep and occasionally didn’t bother bringing my Bible to church either.  I was NOT living the abundant life God intended for me and I was certainly NOT fulfilling the purposes that God created me for.  I was on the road headed for destruction!  I would have continued down that deadly path if I had not finally come to the end of myself and humbly confessed my sin before my Father.  

Luke 15:17 describes the account of how the prodigal son “came to the end of himself” and finally humbled himself before God and his earthly father.  The key to restoration and finding a peaceful, joyful life is confessing our pride and asking forgiveness for our sin.  The prodigal son at last had recognized his need to seek full forgiveness from his sin in Luke 15:21,  “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.”     

Every prodigal will eventually bow their knee to God.  Whether they willingly make the choice to humble themselves, or be brought to their knees in brokenness by their Creator through devastating circumstances.  However, if the prodigal stubbornly chooses to remain in their defiance, God may even decide to prematurely end their earthly life.  We all have the choice to submit ourselves now, or be humbled by God later.  Romans 14:11 shows us this confirmation, For it is written, "AS I LIVE, SAYS THE LORD, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW TO ME, AND EVERY TONGUE SHALL GIVE PRAISE TO GOD."   How much heartache, pain, and distress are we willing to inflict on ourselves and our loved ones before we decide to wake up and realize that we’ve been blinded and deceived by the father of lies?  In John 10:10 we are warned that Satan’s goal for us is to kill, steal and destroy us. He is crafty and will use whatever it takes to try to bring about our destruction so we must be on guard to His schemes. 

Can you identify with some of these same rebellious attitudes that I have struggled with?  Have you lost your joy and excitement in the Lord and no longer hunger and thirst after God’s Word and righteousness?  Are you apathetic or unconcerned about the needs of others and lack genuine love for people?  Have you been so blinded by your pride that you feel you have no sin to confess?  Maybe you have been more concerned about keeping up a good “outer” testimony rather than taking care of your “inner” heart condition? 

 Just as in Luke 15 where the father eagerly and faithfully watched for his prodigal son to come home, our Father God has been patiently waiting and watching for us to return from our rebellion with open arms full of compassion.  He is ready to embrace us and welcome us back into sweet fellowship with Him.  We ALL need to recognize our foolishness and pride, humbly bow down at the foot of the cross and beg for God’s forgiveness from our sin.  Just like the prodigal son, we will be restored and there will be a GREAT celebration in heaven!  Jesus says to the proud and hypocritical Pharisees in Luke 15:7, “There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 “righteous” people who need no repentance.” If you’ve been a prodigal in the pew, the time for repentance is now.  Please don’t waste one more minute believing the Enemy’s lies that will most assuredly bring you more needless suffering, regret and devastation than you ever bargained for. 

       

Eliminating Frustration, Aggravation and Irritation

 

Are you frequently aggravated, frustrated, annoyed, or irritated when things don’t go the way you’ve planned?  We must realize that no matter how carefully we may plan out our daily schedule we are not in control of ANY of our circumstances in this life. There will be times when our sovereign Creator chooses to make unexpected changes in our day.  When those upredictable events come, will our reaction be one of thankfulness in understanding that God has distinct intentions for those changes, or will we become angry because our will is not being accomplished?  When our agenda is altered by unforseen situations, how should we respond?

There are numerous things we all strive to get accomplished during our day, however, quite often we find ourselves stalled by an interruption, delay or cancellation of our plans.  All of these unpredictable events can cause us frustration because we are not accomplishing what we had originally set out to do. Sometimes we may bring these irritations upon ourselves through the choices we make, or our dilemma may be totally unsolicited.  I have had my share of unanticipated circumstances that weren’t scheduled in my calendar. 

One such incident occurred last Saturday evening when I accidently pumped more than 10 gallons of “unleaded” fuel into the gas tank of our “diesel” truck.  Sitting for over two hours at a gas station waiting for a tow truck wasn’t at all what I had planned for my evening, but the Lord turned a seemingly frustrating incident into an opportunity to demonstrate to our three teens that we needed to spend some time in prayer, trust God to help us and be flexible.  If we look close enough, we will find the benefits and blessings God has for us through the situation.  If I hadn’t gotten the wrong fuel, I wouldn’t have taken the time to talk with the gas station attendant about how God answers prayer. God also used the gracious reaction of my husband to my absent mindedness, to demonstrate to our children that we all should be forbearing and merciful to others who make mistakes.  I also witnessed the great love my husband has for me because of his patience and willingness to spend several hours fixing the problem I had created.   It would not have accomplished anything good for us all to have become frustrated. God is in complete control and always has a purpose for every unexpected situation.  It is good to have goals and make plans but we must realize that God may have a far different agenda for us.  Proverbs 20:24, “A man’s steps are of the Lord, How then can man understand his own way?”  It’s beyond our comprehension to fully understand God’s sovereign ways.  He desires for us to rest in the peace of knowing He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).  We must look above the obvious circumstances we face and gain deeper spiritual insight, so that we develop a more intimate relationship with Him.  

 

When we become frustrated we are actually elevating our own will above God’s eternal purposes. We do not share the same perspective that God has.  We’re told in Isaiah 55:8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  We must remind ourselves that our sinful human tendency is to focus on the here and now, but God’s perspective is ALWAYS eternal!  God’s intent is not to spare us from every disappointment or dilemma in this life.  God’s will for us is to place our dependence on Him, trust Him and give Him the honor and glory through our responses in every situation we face.  We must realize that we will never be in control of anything, so our faith and trust must be firmly secured in the only One who is in authority over ALL things.

 If we resist God’s control and stubbornly rebel against His all-knowing plan and intent for us, we will be frustrated, irritated, angry bitter people. Furthermore, God will persist in chiseling away at our selfishness by bringing more of those unexpected predicaments into our lives because His mission for us is holiness.  We choose to become angry because our expectations are not being fulfilled and question God’s goodness in allowing those disappointments into our lives.   

 It is imperative that we understand that no matter how we justify our frustrations, irritations or annoyances, they are all terms we use to describe our root sin of anger.  Anger is an indicator that we care more about what pleases us than what pleases and glorifies God.  If we’d like to live a more frustration free life, we must confess every form of anger that is in our hearts.  The sin of anger or frustration not only breaks our communion and fellowship with God but it also destroys relationships with our family and friends. There are devastating effects on our loved ones because a frustrated, angry person tends to be quite difficult to live with.  Proverbs 29:22 “A man of wrath
stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.”

 Whether our frustration is inward or outwardly manifested, the physical effects on our body have been medically proven.  Angry people experience some forms of heart problems, the tendency to suffer from high blood pressure and even strokes.  Before I bowed my stubborn will to my sovereign Creator, I could’ve died in the Critical Care Unit because of my sin of anger.  I was frequently irritated, offended, bothered, frustrated, and silently angry when things didn’t turn out my way, when people didn’t meet up to my expectations, or when I wasn’t treated the way I thought I deserved to be treated.  Does this sound like a joy filled existence?  A few years later I read that there are some heart problems that can be caused by anger and I realized I’d been placing my will and desires above God’s. I finally repented of my anger and asked God to forgive me.  I then was led to write about how His power had radically changed me, which I included in my first blog “Saved from the road to destruction”.        

In examining your own heart, do you become frustrated, irritated and angry when things don’t go the way you thought they should?  Have you ever realized that frustration and irritation are really anger?   God’s desire for us to live the abundant life does not include being enslaved to the sin of anger.  We waste precious time in this life when wrapped up in our petty annoyances.  We must humble ourselves, and seek forgiveness from the Lord.   We will then be free to live a life filled with joy and abundance, trusting in our sovereign Savior who is in authority over ALL things and desires only our best.  2 Samuel 22:31 shows us “As for God, His way is perfect.”   

Freedom or Bondage, Which Will You Choose?

Are you a person who struggles with forgiving those who have hurt you?  Forgiveness is not always easy to extend to those who have willingly chosen to bring us or our loved ones harm. By forgiving our offenders, it seems as if we are simply letting them "off the hook" for what they've done. We think that we can somehow punish those who have hurt us by refusing to forgive and holding a grudge toward them.  We believe that if we ignore them, treat them badly or even seek revenge, we are making our offenders pay for the pain they have caused.  I am extremely and utterly humbled and grateful for the fact that God does not have our same sinful perspective about our offenses toward Him. 

 

If God is in control of everything that happens, why would He allow those hurtful situations to come into our lives?  We must realize that those offenses, hurts and misunderstandings all must first be filtered through the hands of our loving Lord before they are even allowed to happen to us.  God's greatest desire for us is not to be untouched by the hurts of this world, but for us to be conformed more and more into the image of His dear Son, Jesus.  Everything we endure has eternal purposes and is being orchestrated for our good and for God's glory.   Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."  HOW we respond to the wounds we receive is a direct indication of WHAT we believe to be true about our heavenly Father. If we doubt His goodness, His wisdom, and His love for us we will become bitter. No one has any right, for even a moment, to question the goodness of our God! Instead of questioning, we need to TRUST the One who sees all, who knows all and is working to fulfill His sovereign purposes in and through us. God desires to pour out His mercy, love and grace upon us through the process of transforming us to be more like His Son. We can also chose to resist God's mercy, love and grace because of our pride and allow the root of bitterness to take hold in our hearts.  Hebrews 12:15 tells us how our bitterness will then defile many others in our lives.  "Looking diligently unless anyone fall short of the grace of God; unless any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled."  Satan will use our bitterness to bring about our destruction and cause devastion to all of those around us. Our bitterness never punishes those who have hurt us, it simply places us in chains and holds US hostage in a nasty prison that wreaks from the poison in our hearts. Being in bondage to bitterness steals all the joy, peace and contentment that we can savor in this earthly life.  It's a lie straight from the master deceiver that our bitterness will ever hurt our offender more than it damages us.
 

In reality, the prison we think we are holding our offender in, is the very prison WE are being held captive in! Having spent 20 years in the prison of bitterness myself, I’ve seen the destruction that it causes. It almost destroyed my health and my relationships. It consumed my thoughts and stole my joy! I was so blinded by my sin, until I humbled myself and finally realized that if I wanted God to forgive me, I needed to forgive others. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you REFUSE to forgive others your Father will not forgive your sins.”  God has shown me that HE is the righteous judge and it is HE "Who will render to every man according to his deeds." Romans 2: 6.  It's never our job to retaliate or punish our offender because God is perfectly capable of handling the problem Himself. 

I’ve also learned that forgiveness is not always a “one time” event. Sometimes Jesus calls us to forgive the same person over and over and over again.  This is the same kind of forgiveness that God grants to us, over and over on a daily basis for ALL of the things we do to offend Him. God’s ultimate forgiveness is offered through Jesus on the cross and has set us free from the eternal penalty of our sin. May each of us continually humble ourselves and choose to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us. Ephesians 4:32 says, “…forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” 

 So have we fulfilled our spiritual duty by simply forgiving others, or would God desire us to even go the extra mile to bring Him more honor and glory? Taking offenses one step further beyond forgiveness involves us "seeing" our offender as Christ sees them. Maybe the person who hurt us has a need? Maybe God allowed the situation to come into our life so that we could have mercy on our offender and meet their needs. The grace that God grants us during this situation is quite amazing! We could never humanly muster up enough pity toward those who've wounded us, it's a demonstration of God's grace that enables us minister to them. 

 

When Jesus Christ arose from the grave, He could have emerged with a perfect body with no visible traces of the torture and suffering He endured on the cross.  Instead, Jesus CHOSE to keep the scars from the nails in His hands as a reminder of His amazing love for us.  It is crucial that each of us  have this same perspective of the wounds and hurts we've received from others. Once we have forgiven our offenders, the scars that are left behind by their wounds can remind us of God's forgiveness to us and the mercy we must also extend to others by forgiving them.  This may seem like a foreign concept to most of us, but that is exactly how our God works.  Our natural human inclination to hold a grudge and make our offenders pay for what they've done can be supernaturally transformed through the power of the forgiveness of the cross.   

 

 God's ways are higher than our ways and bring us joy, freedom and blessing. Bitterness will lead us into bondage EVERY SINGLE TIME and puts us on the road to destruction. Choosing to forgive will keep us on the road to blessing and ALWAYS set us free! Have you been harboring unconfessed sin that you need to make right with God or others you may have offended?  Are there people in your life that you need to extend forgiveness to?  Today is the day to make things right and determine what choice you will make the next time someone offends you.  Freedom through forgiveness or bitterness through bondage, which one will you chose?

Breaking Up The Dirt

Learning everyday tasks involved with living on a farm has given me greater insight to a few spiritual truths found in God’s Word.  I had never given soil or dirt too much thought before moving to our farm, other than the fact that I’ve never enjoyed getting dirty.  As we’ve learned about preparing the soil in the garden each spring before planting, I now see the importance of tilling the dirt, and breaking up the ground to eliminate any hard, dry soil that may have been matted down over the winter. By plowing up the tough, brittle ground, our goal is to prepare the surface to become soft and fertile so it will ready to accept the seeds.  We will then plant those seeds and water them so that strong, healthy plants will grow, providing us with food in which to feed our family. 

If we were to go out and attempt to plant seeds in our garden on that hard, dry ground, it would not be a successful endeavor.  It would be a futile waste of time, because there would be no growth, no healthy food and the ground would simply remain in its brittle useless state. Soil that has been unplowed is sometimes referred to as “fallow” ground and simply cannot be used for any productive purposes. 

In God’s Word we often see the analogy between our mind and hearts in comparison with the soil of the ground.   At times our hearts become hardened and brittle from unconfessed sin, and like fallow ground, we become useless to carry out God’s purposes for us.  God told Judah and Jerusalem in Jeremiah 4:3 to, “Break up your unplowed ground and do not sow among thorns.”  The Lord desires for His children to make sure we are continually breaking up any unplowed soil in our hearts.  When our hearts are in need of spiritual tilling, we will exhibit the tell tale attitudes of apathy, indifference, unresponsiveness, carelessness, insensitivity, stubbornness and resistance to readily receiving the seed of God’s Word.  These attitudes are displayed when we have a lack of interest or involvement in ministering to other people’s needs, no longer have a burden to see the lost come to the Savior, or when we choose to rebel against God given authority in our lives.  Neglecting to continually till up the soil of our hearts is used by Satan to cause hard heartedness, stubbornness and rebellion to set in and create hard, matted ground where we can’t receive the seed of God’s Truth.  In this unplowed condition, we also cannot bear godly fruit. Hosea 10:12 says, “Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord…”  Refusing to break up fallow soil caused by unconfessed sin in our hearts leads to destruction and we simply will not prosper in our lives.  We are warned of the contrasting results of how we choose to deal with our sin in Proverbs 28:13, “He that covers his sins will NOT prosper: but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”        

I know the toil and hard labor that comes from living with a heart full of soil that I rarely tilled.  It’s hard work being selfish and prideful.  It’s hard work being bitter and holding onto all of those grudges.  It’s hard work being frustrated and irritated over petty offenses.  It’s no wonder I was always exhausted!  Please listen to someone who knows the heartache of choosing to live in disobedience and rebellion to the God of the universe!  Whether it’s inward or outward sin that leads you to the road of rebellion, you will never find the freedom, joy and peace you are searching for by indulging in the empty pleasures of this world.  I can’t even explain the peace and joy that has filled my life now that I’ve surrendered my will to live in submission to the authority of my Savior.  The difference between a life FULL of heartache, and an ABUNDANT life FULL of blessing, is our willingness to humble ourselves and break up the hard soil in our hearts by confessing our sin.  Unconfessed sin is the tool that our Enemy uses in an attempt to bring about our destruction!  If Satan can’t destroy us, he’ll steal precious time from us fulfilling God’s purposes in our lives by getting us to believe the empty deceptive promises of sin.  We must humbly examine our thoughts, attitudes, speech and actions under the microscope of God’s Word if we are to break up the hard, fallow ground in our hearts.  How about you?  In close examination of the soil of your heart, have you found hardness, indifference, rebellion, insensitivity or apathy?  Is it time for you to do some spiritual tilling?  I John 1: 9 says that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL our unrighteousness.”

Shooting Our Wounded

When we find out someone we know is enduring devastating trials do we automatically assume God allowed it to happen because they’re living in sin?  In the back of our minds maybe we believe that God is punishing them for making wrong choices?  The fact is that we don't have all the facts and we don’t ever need all of the facts about their situation.  What Christians truly need to be is an extension of Christ’s love and compassion to those hurting people, not their judge.

It’s sad when wounded people come to the body of Christ for compassion, love and healing but what they find many times is judgmental, prideful, critical eyes who would rather shun them than minister to them.  They are blinded by the enemy and don't even realize the fact that there WILL come a day when God will allow some of those same trials in their own lives.  During those difficulties they will also need the love, support and mercy from other Christians but they should not expect to receive it.  Jesus says Himself in Matthew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful for THEY will be shown mercy.”  God also tells us in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, that will he also reap.” We cannot count on receiving help when we are hurting if we have not been willing to reach out and help other people going through trials.

It’s a far too common occurrence to see Christians shooting our own wounded!  In military terms this is called “friendly fire”.  We need to be on guard and watchful for enemy attacks, planning strategies to block any victories for our enemy’s kingdom.  Instead we CHOOSE to do damage to the kingdom of God by discouraging, ignoring, shunning or shooting our own soldiers.  If we were soldiers of war, we would never even fathom the thought of wounding our own comrades or refusing medical treatment to those who had been hit by enemy fire.  We would never dream of leaving that wounded soldier there to die without trying to do whatever we could to see that they would recover.  The truth is that we ARE in a battle. The battle we fight is not physical but spiritual. 
     
Christians need to put away our pointing judgmental fingers and stop pulling the trigger to shoot our own wounded.  What hurting people desperately NEED is a refuge in which they can come to find love, compassion and help.  It is in this atmosphere where situations are handled Biblically in love that those hurting people can also see how God might be working to change their hearts in some sin areas as well.  In Psalm 46:1 we see that “God is our refuge and help, our very present help in times of trouble.”  This means He will come to our aid in times of trouble.   If Christians are supposed to be exactly like Christ, then why aren’t we faithfully coming to the aid of hurting people who desperately need our help?

It's heartbreaking, but there are also Christians who take the shunning and judging of those going through trials even one step further.  Putting on the disguise of a concerned saint they like to gather as much information as they can, mostly negative, so that they can “pray” for the wounded.  They haven’t gone out of their way to respond in love personally to help treat the hurting person’s wounds.  Instead they take it upon themselves to “appear” to be helping by spreading information to others which was none of their business to begin with.   Satan uses those gossips as tools to infiltrate the church with misconceptions and lies in an attempt to further rub salt into the wounds of the hurting by destroying their reputations.  Throughout the Bible we see how nosy busybodies or talebearers cause harm by spreading information. The talebearers 'words' are compared to causing internal wounds to people in Proverbs 26:22, “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.”

If Christians are to be known by our love but choose not to demonstrate it to the hurting, it’s no wonder that so many people are turning away from the church.  Whether it’s the innocent party of a marital separation or divorce, victims of abuse or those who have repented of past sin and seek to start over in their Christian walk, they need our help.  When we fail to reach out to the wounded to lovingly meet their needs we grieve the heart of our Savior who willing left glory to suffer and die on the cross to meet OUR spiritual needs.  This is blatant hypocrisy and there’s no difference between the Pharisees of Jesus day and Christians today who choose to turn their back in arrogance to a wounded neighbor.  The Pharisees proudly claimed to follow the letter of the law perfectly, even questioning Jesus about His obedience to it.  We Christians claim to love Christ with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength which is the first and great commandment mentioned in Matthew 22: 7-8, but miserably fall short in obeying the second commandment to “Love our neighbor as ourselves”.  We CANNOT talk about how much we love God and also refuse to show love by turning a blind eye to the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of others.

This situation of friendly fire among the body of Christ should not continue.  Every single one of us has sin areas that we need to humbly acknowledge and confess before God.  We each have the responsibility and privilege to love God and serve Him by loving others and serving them.  In examining your life, how do you measure up in this area?  When you know someone who has been wounded do you automatically play judge and jury and quickly dismiss yourself from any involvement in meeting their needs?  God is faithful because where we’ve failed before, with His help we can obey in the future.  Imagine what our churches would be like and what kind of impact we could make for Christ on a lost and dying world if we’d simply follow God’s Word and show His love to the wounded He brings across our path every single day.
 

It's Not My Fault!

When you have conflict in your life, do you try to determine the cause of the problem, even if that means YOU may be at fault? OR do you just shift the blame to avoid humbling yourself and admitting you’re wrong? Maybe you even think all of the controversy and strife in your life are somehow God’s fault?  Because controversy and contention leave no room for peace in our lives, it is crucial that we examine our hearts to identify and pull out the “root” cause of that contention. God’s Powerful Word gives us all the answers we need to live a godly, prosperous life.  Proverbs 13:10 says, “Only by pride comes contention.”  I have learned that pride is the MOST destructive root sin that a person can have and is the sin that God judges the most severely.  Pride causes us put ourselves above others and is the root cause of ALL contention and problems we struggle with in our lives.

There are quite a few examples in Scripture of how destructive the sin of pride is and how it is at the “root” of all contention we have in relationships but especially in our fellowship with God. 
Obviously pride was the first sin ever committed. We see in Isaiah 14:13-14, Satan’s prideful attitude caused himself and one-third of the angels to rebel against God. He and those angels were punished because of their pride and were removed from heaven and have been condemned for all eternity.
 
We also see the example of King Nebuchadnezzar in the Old Testament who had pride about all of his achievements in building Babylon in Daniel 4:30.  Because of the king’s pride and boasting, God gave him the heart of an animal. Nebuchadnezzar was driven out of his kingdom and forced to live in fields until he repented of his pride and recognized that it was God that was in control of everything. This approach was very effective because we see in Daniel 4:37 that the king gives praise and honor to God and NOT himself.
 
In God's Word we some of the destructive effects of pride in our lives: 
1) When we have pride, we will have shame.  Proverbs 11:2
2) Because of pride, we have contention.  Proverbs 13:10
3) Our pride causes us to fall and causes destruction.  Proverbs 16:18
4) God hates pride and it is an abomination to Him.  Proverbs 6:16    
5) Having a proud heart won't go unpunished.  Proverbs 16:5
6) Having a proud heart causes strife and problems.  Proverbs 28:25
7) Having a proud heart is sin.  Proverbs 21:4

We can see CLEARLY in Scripture that our pride is sin! NONE of these things God’s Word mentions about pride are blessings to us, so why do we continue in this sin?  We hold onto our pride because we believe Satan’s lies that this is “OUR” life and we are in control of it. We think we can do a better job at handling our situations than God can, and believe that WE are more important than God!

I know a lot about how destructive pride can be in a person’s life.  Just a few years ago, my life was FULL of contention, and it was ALL due to my prideful sinful heart.  I rarely asked God or anyone else to forgive me for anything!  I thought that all of the conflict in my life was someone else’s fault. I had absolutely NO peace!  Satan tried to ruin my health, my marriage, my family, and my relationships and wanted my destruction.  Satan’s goal for us is three-fold; it’s to steal, kill and destroy and he knows what to tempt us with.  Pride is a destructive condition of the heart and is not easily conquered. 

To conquer the sin of pride in our hearts we MUST confess our sin and declare to God that we are humbly bowing our selfish stubborn will to His authority.  MANY of us will even admit that we struggle with pride, but are not willing to humble ourselves under God’s authority. God DOES have MANY ways He could humble us if we insist on it, but God wants US to take the initiative and humble ourselves in His sight.

How do we humble ourselves before God?  

1)    Fall down at the foot of the cross of Christ. 

2)    Cry out to God to help us humble ourselves - when we see that we cannot handle things on our own, God wants to hear us cry out to Him for help.

3)    Confess our faults to one another- we usually want to hide our faults from others so that they will think highly of us. We are told in James 5:16 to confess our faults to others so we can pray for one another.   

4)    Confess our sins to God - Proverbs 28:13 talks about the person who tries to cover their sins and not confess them. 

5)    Serve others with the attitude of Jesus-  Jesus continually showed His servants heart by placing others above Himself by serving.

6)   Let ALL praise and glory be given to God, not to take the credit ourselves.

7)   Mourn over our sin and realize that we are beggars before God.

8)    Submit to authority - We can never expect to be blessed by our God if we are not willing to submit to God's authority or the leadership of those God has placed in authority over us in our lives (husbands, parents, pastors...)

James 4:6 talks about how God resists us when our hearts are full of pride, but He gives grace to us when we are humble.  Just as God resists us when we are prideful, we resist others in our lives that are prideful because we sense that they don’t really love us, but only love themselves. When we are prideful, people around us sense that we’re lacking genuine love for them so they will resist us. 
 

When we replace our pride with a spirit of humility, the controversy and contentions in our lives will greatly decrease.  Our marriages, families, and ALL of our relationships will improve when we begin to humble ourselves.  We need to learn to focus on the confessing the sin of pride in our own hearts instead of being consumed with all of the conflict and how we think others need to change. Our purpose is to honor and glorify God in all of our thoughts, attitudes and actions. Imagine what this world would be like if all Christians confessed their pride and were focused on glorifying God and not themselves. Imagine what kind of shining light Christians could be to the lost and dying world around us if we were more humble.   
 

Oh, the contention that we could avoid in our lives if we would only humble ourselves as God tells us to do!  God is waiting to extend His grace to those who will obey His Word.  “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of GOd, that He may exalt you in due time."

Have You Been Washed In The Fountain?

Songwriter William Cowper was tortured for years by a deep, dark suicidal depression. After years of suffering and anguish, he finally came to the realization that Christ’s shed blood on the cross could wash away ALL of the guilt from our sin.  I John 1:7 says “…and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.”   All we need to do is humble ourselves at the foot of the cross and ask forgiveness from God and He will remove our sin as far as the east is from the west. After crying out to God to forgive his sin, William Cowper was finally freed from all of the guilt and shame he had held onto for far too long. He was no longer plagued by suicidal depression and darkness, but found the joy and peace he had been longing for in his life.  Once he had experienced this new found freedom in Christ, he then sat down and wrote my favorite song:

 “There is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Emmanuel’s veins; And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose ALL their guilty stains.

 The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day; And there may I, though vile as he, Wash ALL my sins away.

 Dear dying Lamb, Your precious blood will NEVER lose its power. Till all the ransomed church of God, Be saved to sin no more.

 Ever since, by faith, I saw the stream, Your flowing wounds supply, Redeeming love has been my theme and shall be till I die.

 Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Your power to save, When this poor lisping, stammering tongue, lies silent in the grave.”

I can identify personally with William Cowper because I was plagued by the guilt from my unconfessed sin for many years.  I had been saved since a young age, but rarely dealt with problems and stress in my life Biblically which caused me to suffer needlessly from depression and serious health problems. Since God's law is written on each one of our hearts, each time we sin, we KNOW we are violating God's law. When we violate God's law by sinning and do not confess it right away, we will have guilt.  That guilt causes many horrible problems for us mentally, physically and spiritually.  The ONLY way to get rid of guilt is to confess it! No amount of medication will solve our problem, only mask it and numb it.  We have to solve the problem by eliminating the root, which is guilt! It is imperative that we don't allow the guilt to come through daily confession.   

Even though I had trusted in Christ's blood to save me for eternity, I was not cleansing myself from my sin daily. Praise God I finally realized that Christ's blood was enough to pay for my sins, no matter how great or small.

 

 I John 1:9 says that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL of our unrighteousness.” Once our sin is truly confessed, and we are forgiven by God and others, then we are able to have the peace and joy that allows us to live the abundant life free from guilt that Christ died to give us.

 

The song “There is A Fountain” has been used by God in a great way to impact thousands of lives over the years and bring many hurting people to the cross of Christ.  What AMAZING things God will accomplish in and through us when we humble ourselves and confess our sin at the foot of the cross!  NOTHING we can do on our own will ever cleanse us from our guilty sin stains. Have you humbled yourself and come to the Fountain filled with blood for cleansing of your sin for salvation? If you are already a Christian, do you humble yourself before God daily through confession of sin and allow the blood of Christ to cleanse you?

Are We Substituting Praying for Obeying?

                                            

How many of us truly have the desire to see revival in our day?  I’m talking about a spiritual awakening that spreads like fire throughout our churches and cities, where people’s lives are radically changed because of the awesome power of Jesus shed blood on the cross!   
This spiritual awakening will involve:

1) Dying to our selfish, sinful worldly desires
2) Seeing our sin just as our Holy God sees it
3) Mourning over and confessing the sin we've been harboring
4) Loving God with ALL of our heart, soul, mind and strength
5) Bowing our will to the will of Our Creator God and HIS sovereign purposes for creating us
6) Getting busy doing what God has called us to do in this vaporous, earthly life   
                                                                                                   
If we truly desire revival, how many of us have been diligently, fervently praying for it? BUT is prayer the ONLY thing we need to do for revival to come?   A.W. Tozer wisely said, “Have you noticed how much praying for revival has been going on of late- and how little revival has resulted?   I believe the problem is that we have been trying to substitute “praying” for “obeying” and it simply WILL NOT WORK.”
Revival is NOT just something that happens out there in the world.  We Christians can’t just sit and pray, waiting for God to answer our prayers for revival.  Revival takes place in the church first!  Who is the church?  That’s you and that’s me!!!  As a whole, the church today is apathetic, indifferent, unconcerned, unloving, unresponsive, careless, insensitive, resistant or stubborn?  Do we see some of these same attitudes of sin even in our own church?  Do we see some of these sinful attitudes in our own hearts?  When we see evidences of these sin attitudes, we are really dealing with a “disobedience” issue, not a “God’s not answering our prayer for revival” issue! 

In the past, God has brought revival to people’s hearts through hard economic times, through heartbreaking circumstances or personal trials. Sometimes God must use those methods to bring us to our knees because we refuse to humble ourselves and realize that we are absolutely NOTHING without Him.  We do not have to wait for trials to come for God to bring us to our knees in brokenness before Him.  In Matthew 5, Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount, where He describes the characteristics that will be evident in every believer’s life.  In verse 4 Jesus says, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they will be comforted.”  I used to think this meant people who were mourning or suffering a loss.  With deeper study of this passage I came to realize that Jesus is saying that those who mourn over their sin  will be blessed and comforted by God. 

It is when each of us is TRULY mourning over our sin that brings repentance and revival.  Genuine repentance will involve each of us having the attitude of a beggar, humbly grieving over our sin, and then asking forgiveness from God and others we have sinned against.  God shows us our example of how to mourn over our sin in Psalm 51.  King David was devastated by his broken relationship with God, humbled himself and deeply mourned over his sin with a beggar’s attitude.  David acknowledge his sin and pleaded with God for forgiveness and cleansing from his sin in Psalm 51:1-3, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your loving kindness, according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions.  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.  For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me.”   When we think of David’s sins of adultery and murder, we quickly excuse ourselves from those sin categories or that degree of sin, but we are OFTEN blinded to our own sin of pride, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, envy, or greed.   We MUST be aware that Satan uses our “inner private” sin to destroy us just as he uses the “outward public” sin.  If left unconfessed, our “inner private” sin WILL eventually lead to “outward public” sin.  We can see where David’s pride, greed, envy and guilt led him in this instance with Bathsheba that left him distraught, devastated and almost destroyed.   David’s repentance of his sin led to an amazing revival in his heart!

 If we are praying for revival to come, the first place we need to look is at our own personal spiritual condition.  God’s will and desire for us is to have a broken spirit and a contrite heart.  He wants to use us in a mighty way to fulfill His purposes in and through us, but our sin hinders that work.  We will experience personal spiritual revival, but we must plead for forgiveness of our sin, and confess our guilt from harboring sin just as David did.   When we experience God’s forgiveness, our joy will return and God will use us in a mighty way to testify to others who need to experience revival in their hearts. 

Should we pray for revival?  Most definitely!   BUT if we truly desire revival, we CANNOT substitute prayer for our obedience to God by confessing our sin.  Others WILL notice when we’ve experienced revival in our heart because our countenance will change, and the joy of the Lord will radiate through us because our heart is pure.  When we experience personal spiritual revival it will be evident in our conversation, our attitudes, our desires, and our goals in this earthly life.  God desires the same revival that took place in David’s heart to take place in our hearts, but it’s ONLY possible through humbly mourning over and confessing our sin. 

“Search Me, O God, and know my heart today.  Try me, O Savior, know my thoughts, I pray.  See if there be some wicked way in me.  Cleanse me from EVERY sin and set me free.

I praise You Lord, for cleansing me from sin.  Fulfill Your Word and make me PURE within.  Fill me with fire, where once I burned with shame.  Grant my desire to magnify Your name.

Lord, take my life and make it wholly Thine.  Fill my poor heart with Your great love divine.  Take ALL MY WILL, my PASSION, SELF and PRIDE.  I now SURRENDER, Lord, in me abide.

O, Holy Spirit, revival comes from Thee.  Send a revival, start the work in ME.  Your Word declares, You will supply our need.  For blessing now, O lord, I humbly plead.”

 

Pulling Out The Root

We don’t have an attitude problem.

We don’t have a thinking problem.

We don’t have a tongue problem.

We don’t have a frustration problem.

We don’t have an anxiety problem.

We don’t have a spending problem.

We don’t have a problem forgiving.

None of these are problems, but rather symptoms.  There is ALWAYS a deeper “inner” root cause to the “outward” symptoms that manifest themselves in our lives.  Many times we try to clear up our symptoms in an attempt to bring resolution to our problems.  We may read self help books, take seminars or even seek counseling in order to help us eliminate our bad attitude, our wrong thinking, our poisonous tongue, our silent anger, our paralyzing fear, our over spending, or to help us learn how to forgive our offenders.   All of these methods are good in and of themselves, but no amount of will power or human strength will ever be able to help us conquer any of these symptoms.  Unless we get to the deeper “root” cause of these symptoms, we are simply putting band-aids on what really needs TRUE spiritual healing.

I’ve learned by living on a farm, that when we go out to weed the flower beds or the garden, we can’t just use the clippers and cut the weeds off at ground level.  The ONLY way to have victory in overcoming that weed is to dig deeper, beneath the ground’s surface and pull that whole root system completely out.  This is a wonderful analogy for how we need to treat the symptoms of sin in our life.  We MUST get to the deeper “root” cause and deal with it through confession to God.

In God’s Powerful Word we find the answers we need for how to go about our spiritual weeding. God tells us in      Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”   EVERYTHING stems from the condition of our heart or our true inner man.  We can harbor in our heart the “root” sins of bitterness, anger, fear, greed, envy, lust, pride or guilt.  If we are allowing these sins to grow and fester in our heart, they WILL control all our thoughts, attitudes and actions.  Does this mean that we are hopeless, helpless victims to our sin?  No!  It’s our personal responsibility to daily clean out our heart from our sin.  This involves a spirit of humility before the Lord by seeing our sin as God sees it.  We then must confess it by asking God to forgive us.

I have a passion to share these truths with others so that you don’t have to suffer in your sin as I did for so many years. Heart cleaning was a rare occasion for me and I wasted precious time ONLY applying spiritual band-aids to symptoms. Never getting to the “root” of my sin and confessing it made me miserable person on the inside.  We all have weeds we need to take care of, but we can’t just deal with symptoms.  I hope and pray those reading this post will examine your process of spiritual weeding. May you see that the only way to live a life of true freedom and joy in Christ is to go deeper, pull out the sin by the root and keep your heart pure.

Saved From the Road to Destruction

I am so humbled and thankful for my heavenly Father’s mercy, love and grace toward me of which I am undeserving.   I’m passionate about sharing how God has humbled me and completely changed my heart in hopes that it will encourage others to examine their hearts and make changes as well.  I want other Christians who are living complacent, lukewarm lives to wake up before it’s too late!  God is AWESOME and I now have a strong and deep desire to follow Him and testify of what He has done and continues to do in and through me.
 
Being saved as a young child, I loved the Lord and my greatest desire was to please Him.  I tried to be a good testimony to my parents who were saved, but not living for God.  I never learned how to deal with stress biblically, the way that God intended us to.  I entered into adulthood carrying the seemingly invisible baggage of unforgiveness, envy, silent anger and bitterness from my childhood and didn’t even realize it.  On the outside, I appeared to others to have it all together but what I needed to do was take care of the condition of my heart!   I remember every rude comment anyone ever said to me my whole life.   I kept a silent tally sheet in my head of times I had been wronged and seldom forgave anyone.  I consistently wrote people off that offended me, rather than thinking biblically to forgive them and seek restoration.  My heart was full of frustration and anger which leaves absolutely no room for peace.  I really thought I was humble, but in reality pride was my biggest problem.  I couldn’t believe that someone would be rude to me, because I certainly didn’t feel as if I deserved that treatment.  I thought since I was nice to other people that I deserved to be treated that same way in return.  Serving as a deacon and pastor’s wife for years  opened me up to a whole new world of criticism from others  and many more stressful situations in which I did not respond to correctly.  I did not respond well to the mistreatment I received as a pastor’s wife and I was held captive in a prison by the wounds that I endured.  If I could only go back and respond biblically, the way God planned for me to, what a difference that would make in my life and the lives of my family.  I’d been harboring lots of poison inside me for so long that I didn’t even realize it was affecting everyone around me and beginning to take a toll on my health.

In my 20’s I began having arthritis pain to the point it was a struggle to walk when I woke up in the morning.  I couldn’t sleep at night without drugs because of the pain and exhaustion.  There were even days I couldn’t get out of bed.  After months of suffering and doctors’ visits they diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, which is like arthritis in the muscles.  Doctors told me I was depressed and put me on antidepressants, sleeping pills and pain medicine, which only masked the problem.   I suffered with fibromyalgia for over 14 years.  The ROOT of the problem was NEVER dealt with, only covered up with medication.  I began taking vitamins which helped to a point, but never completely resolve my problem.  In 2001 I began suffering with anxiety so my doctor put me on more medication.  In 2002 at the age of 31, I had what registered as a heart attack on the EKG and was put under the care of a cardiologist and given heart medications.   In 2005 I began to have severe tremors.   After MRI’s, CAT scans and doctor visits I was told that I could possibly have the early onset of Parkinson’s disease and put on a high dose of tremor medicine.   I cried myself to sleep at night because I was concerned about how much my family and I would have to suffer in the years to come.   After my diagnosis, I attempted to go off the medicine many times, but the shaking was so bad, I’d only last a few hours before needing to take a little larger dose. One of the most terrifying events in my life was in February of 2007!  I awoke one morning to my heart racing 200 beats per minute.   I was having difficulty breathing because my heart was racing and skipping at an unpredictable rate and was not in proper rhythm.  My husband rushed me to the ER where doctors and nurses swarmed around me and administered drugs to slow down my heart rate and try to get my heart back to normal rhythm.   I was admitted to the Critical Care Unit where my husband couldn’t even enter the room.  Among all of the confusion and uncertain circumstances, as they wheeled me down the dark hallway on a stretcher, I felt God’s peace in knowing that if I were to die that day, God was in complete control.  It took 9 hours until doctors got my heart calmed down with the medication through IVs.  Doctor’s told me that I’d been born with extra electrical strands in my heart and diagnosed me with atrial fibrillation.  My cardiologist put me on more heart medications to keep my heart slowed down and in proper rhythm.   I had been on heart medication for years, but even with the medication, I ‘ve had many palpitations and close calls for another CCU visit.  Over the span of 12 years doctors had put me on at least 20 different drugs to try to treat depression, fibromyalgia, anxiety, pain, tremors and heart problems.  Over the years my husband lovingly asked me if maybe some of my health problems could be caused by unconfessed sin or from my unbiblical response to stress.  Of course I was quite offended at that suggestion, but that was because I was full of pride and didn’t want to humble myself and examine my heart.  Through all of these illnesses I thought I was just suffering so God could show His power through my weakness, but little did I know that, in my case, this couldn’t be further from the truth!

Even though I had been attending church during all of this, I rarely brought my Bible.  When I read Scripture, they were just words on a page to me because of my hard heart.  Everything about me was focused on the outward that people could see because I thought I could hide my inward sin.  The Christian life was only a game that I was playing and I did not love the Lord with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength, I only loved myself!  In the spring of 2009 our pastor began preaching on the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5.  The Holy Spirit began convicting me of areas that I needed to change in my life.  On the outside, I appeared to others to be a godly example, but I knew my heart wasn’t right.  I knew I was not poor in spirit or meek, but instead proud.   I didn’t really hunger and thirst after God’s Word and righteousness, I often had my devotions out of a sense of duty.  I knew my inner peace and joy had been gone for years, but because of all the lies I was believing from Satan, I was blinded to the seriousness of my sin.

 God is sovereign, so at the same time our pastor was preaching on the Sermon on the Mount, my husband and I attended a conference where we purchased the book, How to Resolve Seven Deadly Stresses.  It is totally based on God’s Word and Jesus’ teachings from the Sermon on the Mount.  I learned how a person’s thoughts, attitudes and actions are directly affected by the belief system of our hearts.  It also has been medically proven that unconfessed sin and dealing with stress in the wrong way can have a direct effect on our health.   I have to admit that I was very skeptical about the claim that some health problems can be caused by dealing with stress unbiblically.  I began reading the book about seven deadly stresses which were taught in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, which are:  anger, guilt, lust, bitterness, greed, fear and envy.   After soaking in a few chapters of the book, the truths of God’s Word began piercing my heart.  I realized that my heart problems could possibly be related to my silent anger issues, that my fibromyalgia could be because I struggled with envy.  My tremors could be caused by the tremendous load of guilt I carried for never dealing with conflict and sin in my life the way that God intended me to.  The depression I had experienced could possibly be caused by all of my unresolved issues that were stealing my joy and peace.   I realized all of the areas that I needed to make changes in my life and got down on my knees and was broken before the holy God of the universe.

 First John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all our unrighteousness.”  I had been saved since the age of 4, grown up in church, but I came under the realization that I rarely humbled myself and asked for forgiveness from anyone.  I was so wrapped up in myself and concentrated on protecting and distancing myself from people who might hurt me.  I was in a dangerous place, a position that Satan took full advantage of and was able to get strongholds in my life because of my pride. I believed so many of his lies!  The Bible says that God resists the proud, and it saddens me to know that I wasted all of those years that I can never get back!   All of the hurts I had experienced growing up and in adulthood had been festering into bitterness and unforgiveness and it all needed to finally be dealt with. Hebrews 12:15 says that the root of bitterness springing up causes trouble and by this many are defiled.   I was often frustrated and irritated about little things that I now had realized was actually inner anger.   Ephesians 4:31 talks about how we are supposed to get rid of all bitterness, wrath and anger.  Vs. 32 talks about how we are to forgive each other just as God forgives us.  

 After humbling myself and asking God to forgive me for the things I needed to take care of, I then went to others in my life that I had issues with or that I may have offended.  I forgave my offenders even if they’d never asked for forgiveness.   I asked my children to forgive me for all of the times I was not the godly example I should’ve been.   My husband and I had been married for 20 years and I had not been the wife that God wanted me to be.  I was strong willed, stubborn, selfish, prideful and unforgiving.  Satan’s lies had told me that I was the “humble” one and that my husband was the person who was full of pride.  I was SO blinded by my sin!  A few days after confessing my sin to God and asking forgiveness from my husband and my family, I realized that I had not had any more tremors, or taken any tremor medicine. This is the medication that I had not been able to live without.   The tremendous guilt I was bearing from all of my wrong thoughts, attitudes and actions over the years had taken a toll on my body and I believe that in my case, that was what had caused my tremors.  I believe that the guilt I carried around from knowingly disobeying God caused the chemicals in my brain to be depleted and that’s why I was depressed.  The Bible says that God’s law is engraved on our hearts, that’s why we feel guilt when we sin.   In amazement I also realized that I had gone for days with no pain or exhaustion and I was able to sleep all night with no drugs.   I know that because I struggled with envy, it was affecting my musculoskeletal system and causing my fibromyalgia.    I also had no desire to play over in my mind the scenes of the past where someone had hurt my feelings.  I forgave others, and being forgiven by God and others allowed me to be FREED from the prison I was locked in for decades!  Satan wanted me to stay in that prison but God held the keys to the prison all along!   We can choose NOT to be held hostage by our sin by confessing it daily to our loving heavenly Father whose Son’s blood paid the debt we owed.    I threw out the poisonous baggage that was detouring me from carrying out God’s full plan for my life.
Although I no longer needed most of the medicine I had been taking, I continued taking my heart medications, even though the palpitations were fewer.   I wanted to discern if my heart problems were due to unresolved conflicts in my life, or if it was something God was using to show His strength in my weakness.   I realized that whenever I’d get hurt or angry about something that someone else said or did to me, my heart would go out of rhythm.  God also convicted me of my unbiblical response to a very painful event that had took place 2 years earlier just before I was admitted to the Critical Care Unit.  I  harbored bitterness over a situation in which someone had clearly wronged me.  All of the inner anger I felt during that situation was what had caused my heart arrhythmia and threatened my life.  A few weeks later  I realized I wasn’t having any palpitations, so I went off my heart medication.  The ironic thing is that during my last appointment with my cardiologist before I confessed my sin, we were discussing risky heart surgery to fix my atrial fibrillation. Now, on a rare occasion if I feel palpitations coming on,  I know in my case God is showing me that I need to deal with my anger biblically.

It’s been almost four years since I’ve taken any medications or suffered any of those medical issues.   I have an unsurpassing PEACE and JOY in the Lord!  The very REAL pain and exhaustion from the fibromyalgia, that I had suffered with for over 14 years was gone!  The tremors  I suffered with for 4 years were REAL, and now were gone!  The heart arrhythmia and palpitations  I had suffered with for most of my adult life were gone!  I didn’t actually pray to God for healing, I prayed for forgiveness of my bitterness, envy and anger and God transformed my heart and ABSOLUTELY radically altered my life!!!   PLEASE understand, I know that NOT ALL SICKNESS IS A RESULT OF UNRESOLVED ISSUES IN A PERSON’S LIFE.  The Bible says that God also allows sickness for His honor and glory and to show His strength in our weakness.  How we handle sin in our lives doesn’t only affect us, but it affects the lives of everyone around us.   I wasted 20 years of my life that I can never get back.  A sobering thought that came to mind is that I could have died or had a shortened life because of my pride, which blinded me from confessing all of my sin.  I now hunger and thirst after God’s Word! My passions were once so fixed on the temporal, now I long to please my Savior and fulfill His life purpose for me with an eternal perspective.  The Bible says that life is a vapor and this isn’t MY life I’m living, but God’s because I was bought with Jesus’ blood on the cross. My life will never be the same because of the power of the cross!  A HUGE lesson God taught me through all of this is that I’ve learned that I can’t expect others to meet all of my needs, the only One who can do that is my heavenly Father.  I long to testify of how God has changed me by His power and pray every day for opportunities to share my story with others.   I have a passion to help people understand how unconfessed sin can ruin our life.  ALL we need to do is simply humble ourselves and confess our sin so that they can live an abundant life full of peace and joy that Jesus came to give (John 10:10)

God’s Word is SO POWERFUL!!!   It gives us ALL the answers we need to live the abundant life God intends for us.  I now realize that it’s the belief system of my heart that controls my attitudes, speech and my actions and it’s radically changed my life!  If you’re harboring sin, I’m begging you to please humble yourself and take care of it. James 4:6 says, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Not only was God resisting me because of my pride, but I was on the road to destruction, which was exactly where Satan wanted me!!!   Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before I fall.” I pray through my disobedience, many will see it is extremely crucial to humble yourselves and confess sin daily.  Do you have unconfessed sin you are harboring? Are you finally ready to humble yourself at the foot of the cross and confess it? God is waiting to give you grace, forgiveness and the abundant life right now.